Match
by Oliviet
Summary: When match . com matches two people, they base it off of compatibility. When Elliot and Olivia are matched unknowingly new sparks fly as they open up more of their lives than either thought was possible. Please R&R.
1. Welcome to Match

**AN: So this is basically You've Got Mail, if you've ever seen that movie. Wrote the beginning kind of a while ago, so it's slow getting in to. But if you know me, it will pick up. Okay even if you don't know me, it will pick up. Set season 8ish. Ignore any flaws with laws… So umm yeah Enjoy!**

He wasn't sure how he got here. He had been happily married for 23 years. He's had four children with his wife. Now here he was using match . com. It's not like he's so desperate to find love again, that his only option was internet dating. His brother had suggested it and he'd promised he would give it a try.

Elliot mindlessly scrolled through the matches the website had picked for him. He read the random screen names women had created, trying to find one that was remotely interesting. He looked at their pictures, some of which were obviously photoshopped.

Elliot hadn't uploaded a picture for himself. He didn't know how, first of all, but even if his kids would have done it for him, he couldn't find a decent picture of himself that his ex-wife wasn't in as well.

He sighed. All of these so called "perfect matches" and not a single match. Then he found one without a picture. Her screen name was Liv. Love. Laugh. He wondered if she knew she'd spelled live wrong. He sighed again and clicked on her anyway.

Her profile said she lived in Manhattan. She was close.

His brother's words echoed in his head, "You'll never who's out there unless you take a chance and look."

Elliot drew in a breath and sent her a friend request. Now all he had to do was wait and pray he wasn't rejected.

"What are you doing?"

Elliot clicked out of the website instantly.

"Just checking my e-mail," Elliot lied.

"Sure," Olivia laughed. "Go with that."

"I was."

"I believe you."

"No, you don't."

"I do, but moving on. A case came in, let's go."

Elliot put on his jacket and grabbed his keys.

"Where are we going?" he asked.

"Mercy Hospital. Eleven-year-old girl."

Elliot groaned. "Great. Let's go."

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

"Melanie these detectives have some questions for you."

The girl groaned in response.

"Sweetie, do you know who did this to you?" Olivia asked, gently.

"I wasn't raped," Melanie said.

"I saw Jake coming out of your room," the mom protested. "And you wound up with a black eye."

"It was an accident! He didn't mean to do it."

"But the doctor said she found fluids."

"Because we had sex."

"She's bipolar!"

"No, I'm not! Will you give that up already?"

Elliot and Olivia exchanged a look.

"How old are you?" Elliot asked.

"Eleven," Melanie replied.

"How old is Jake?" Olivia asked.

"Seventeen."

"It's not statutory," Elliot mumbled.

"How do you know Jake?" Olivia wanted to know.

"He's my boyfriend."

"Boyfriend? He's too old for you! Stop covering up for him," the mother insisted.

"How did you two meet?" Olivia asked, ignoring the mom.

"He's my neighbor," Melanie shrugged.

"Did you two have sex?" Elliot asked.

"Yes. I already told you that."

"Did he tell you to say that?" Olivia asked.

"No! We're in love!"

"You're eleven!" the mom pointed out.

"So? It happens! Look at Romeo and Juliet. He was older than her and they were both young," Melanie protested.

"They were fictional characters created by a man who liked faeries!" the mom argued.

"I'm sorry, but unless _she_ says something happened, we can't charge Jake with rape," Olivia apologized.

"But he's six years older," the mom stated.

"He's still considered a minor so it's not statutory," Elliot told her.

"When he's eighteen, I'm re-reporting this."

With that, the mother stormed out of the room.

"Are you sure you're okay?" Olivia asked.

"I'm fine," Melanie sighed. "Really."

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Olivia sighed and ran a hand through her hair.

"Something wrong, Liv?" Casey asked.

"Eleven-year-olds having sex. What is the world coming to?"

"No one said life was perfect."

"Far from it."

"Have you checked your internet love site yet?" Casey teased.

"No. I can't believe you talked me into this."

"Hey do you want kids or not? I mean it's not like you have time to actually date."

Olivia groaned.

"Come on Liv, just check your matches," Casey prompted.

Olivia glared at her before reluctantly logging on to match . com.

"New request? What does that mean?"

"Let me see," Casey said, coming around behind her. "King of Queens wants to be your friend. Aww…click on him."

Olivia sighed and did so.

"Wow he's from Queens, imagine that," Olivia mumbled.

"Message him. See if he's online," Casey suggested.

"No! I… Ah! He messaged me. What do I do?"

"Reply silly. It's not that hard."

King_of_Queens: Umm…Hi.

Olivia responded with "hi."

King_of_Queens: I'm sorry I've never done this before. My brother talked me into this.

Olivia smiled and typed: Neither have I. My friend forced me into this. She thinks I'm desperate.

"Don't tell him that!" Casey exclaimed.

Olivia ignored her comment as his reply popped up.

King_of_Queens: Yeah my brother thinks that about me too. Just because I'm divorced, he thinks I need to "get back in the saddle" or something. You ever been married?

"You ever been married?" Casey read. "That's a sign."

"What kind of sign?" Olivia asked.

"Well…" Casey started off on some explanation, but Olivia tuned her out.

She typed: No. I was engaged once, but that was a mistake.

"If he says 'how so', forget about him. He's too pushy," Casey instructed.

Olivia made a mental note not to let Casey read her private messages anymore.

King_of_Queens: That's too bad.

"Okay," Casey started. "He passes…for now…"


	2. Tis the Season

**AN: Wow. Thank you all so much for the reviews. I'm ecstatic that there was such a huge response! It really means a lot to me. So to reward your excitedness, here's the next chapter. Can you believe it? Me, updating the same story two days in a row? Haha If you thought chapter one was good, let's just say this: you ain't seen nothing yet! Enjoy!**

It had been a short conversation. Not a whole lot had been established or said, but it was enough. Elliot needed to talk to her again. He couldn't figure out what was so special about her. She'd only said, well typed, twenty-four words to him, but there was something there.

Elliot powered up his laptop, hoping she would be on. Sure enough, a message popped up once he had logged in.

Liv. Love. Laugh.: Hey. I uh… I couldn't sleep.

Elliot smiled to himself as he typed: Same. Rough day?

Liv. Love. Laugh.: You have no idea.

Elliot: You'd be surprised.

L3: I would? What is it that you do for a living?

El: I'd rather not get into that right now… what if we just forget about specifics for a while? Keep it casual.

L3: Okay…but umm… what are we going to talk about?

El: Well how about we can talk about our pasts?

L3: That's keeping it casual?

El: You got a better idea?

L3: Umm…no… Did you grow up in Queens?

El: Yeah. What about you?

L3: NYC, itself. You think we've ever seen each other?

El: What do you mean?

L3: New York is a huge city, but despite that I believe if people take the same route to work everyday and get coffee at the same place every morning, we see people more than once in our lives without ever realizing it.

El: Wow. That's deep.

L3: I try. :)

El: So where do you get your morning coffee?

L3: At work. It's nowhere close to the best, but it's free.

El: Well I get mine at work too.

L3: Hmm… well unless we secretly work together, we haven't met getting coffee.

El: Guess we'll never know.

L3: Is there a reason you don't want specifics? Like are you some creepy old guy who wants to rape me?

Elliot's hands froze over the keys. He could understand the question. In his job, there had been plenty of "met online" cases. But the fact that _she_ had asked it, meant that rape was somehow present in her life. It concerned him.

L3: I'm sorry to be so blunt, but uhh… I need to know.

He almost admired her for it.

El: No, I'm not a rapist. And unless you consider mid-40s old, no to that too. The creepy part might be up for interpretation though…

L3: Haha I'm mid-40s too, don't worry.

Elliot smiled.

El: Can I ask you something?

L3: Uh…okay…

El: You do realize you spelled Live wrong, don't you?

L3: Okay smartass, are you actually the King of Queens?

El: Well no, but I live in Queens. What's your excuse?

L3: It's my name.

Elliot's breath caught in his throat. Liv? As in Olivia? His Olivia?

El: Olivia?

L3: Yeah.

Oh. My. God. But Olivia is a common name and like she said, New York is a huge city. What are the odds?

L3: Hey, names are specific. Now you have to tell me yours.

El: No. Not yet.

L3: Why?

El: Your name was in your screen name. I'm smarter than that. ;)

L3: Oh well excuse my lack of creativity… at least tell me your middle name?

El: Fine. It's James. Moving on?

L3: I should try to get some sleep. Work and all.

El: Yeah…

L3: Goodnight umm… "King James"

El: Night Liv.

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

She couldn't stop thinking about him. It was a simple conversation. Maybe that's why it had been so nice. Her life was far from simple and the conversations she had from day to day were anything but normal. Cases and perps and things not so simple and extremely complicated…

He had asked her questions that were sweet and simple. Two internet conversations with this guy, and she felt like she'd known him forever. Maybe she didn't have to kill Casey after all.

"You seem brighter than usual today," Elliot mumbled, shuffling in behind her.

"Well aren't you just a ray of sunshine?" Olivia mumbled back.

"I didn't sleep last night okay?"

"Why not? We're between cases."

"I just had a lot on my mind," he shrugged, brushing past her.

These days, they never talked anymore. Olivia remembered a time when they'd actually tell each other things. He knew about her parents and she knew about his marriage problems. But now… neither of them had any idea what was going on in each other's personal lives.

Olivia flopped down at her desk. She watched as Elliot made his way to the coffee pot. A smile crept across his face as he picked up the mug. She hadn't seen him smile like that in a long time. And it was the coffee pot. What the hell was amusing about that?

She shook her head and watched as Casey made her way into the bullpen.

"So how's kicks?" Casey started.

"Kicks? I do believe the expression is 'how's tricks.' How young are you?"

Casey gave Olivia her signature glare.

"How _old _are you?" Casey shot back.

It was Olivia's turn to glare.

"Seriously though, how's your match man?"

"Fine."

"Only fine?"

"What do you want me to say Casey? We're getting married next week and he's agreed to have my baby?"

"Don't you think you're moving kind of fast?"

"Casey!"

"Just saying," Casey shrugged before heading into Cragen's office.

"So what's everyone's plans for the holidays?" Munch asked, cheerfully.

"Well Scrooge, what has you so full of holiday spirit?" Fin asked. "Find your childhood menorah or something?"

"It was a dreidel actually," Munch smirked. "No, I was actually just making conversation."

"You would," Elliot mumbled.

Olivia shot him a sideways glance. He didn't know how lucky he was. He was the only one with a family. Divorced or not, he still had his kids, in-laws, and as far as she knew, Elliot's mom was still alive. She knew that Fin had a son, but they weren't all that close. She knew Cragen's wife had died in a plane crash and knew that Munch had been divorced a bunch of times. Olivia knew nothing about Huang's personal life and only knew that Casey had been engaged. Oh, but then of course there was Warner: married, children, happy.

Olivia wondered what everyone did around this time of year. She wondered if she was the only pathetic loser who would rather be at work, instead of stuck at home all by herself. Crime didn't stop for holidays, right?

"The kids said they have some big surprise for me," Elliot was saying. "I'm not sure if that's a good thing or a bad thing."

"How would it be bad?" Olivia asked.

"Trust me on this one. With them, there are ways."

Casey came back out of Cragen's office and sat on the edge of Olivia's desk.

"What's going on?" Olivia asked.

Huang walked in then, and shortly after Warner did too.

"Seriously, what's going on?" Olivia asked again.

"Cragen has a proposition for us," Casey explained. "Don't worry, it's nothing bad."

"So I was thinking," Cragen started.

"Shocker," Munch mumbled.

"I heard that," Cragen said, glaring at Munch before continuing. "Anyway, I was thinking about how the holidays are coming up and we… well most of us… don't seem to have people to celebrate it with. We're our own little family, this squad. So, how would you guys feel about doing a little gift exchange?"

"Like a Secret Santa?" Casey asked.

"Not all of us celebrate a holiday dedicated to an imaginary fat guy," Munch retorted.

"Christmas is about the birth of Christ," Elliot remarked.

"Even though historians are now saying He wasn't actually born on December 25," Munch stated. "He was born in the spring."

"Okay, okay, we can call it something else!" Casey exclaimed. "I didn't mean to start a theological debate."

"How about we don't even title it?" Olivia suggested. "It's just an office holiday gift exchange where we draw names and keep the name secret."

"Works for me," Munch and Elliot said in unison.

"All right," Cragen nodded. "Everyone want to participate?"

They nodded. Cragen wrote down all of their names and put them in a cup. He held it out for Olivia first.

_Elliot. What am I supposed to get him?_

The squad finished drawing names. She watched them as Cragen's words echoed in her head. This squad, these people, they _were_ her family. They were all she had.

They sat around for the rest of the day doing paperwork. The room was eerily silent. It made Olivia feel uneasy. It was never this quiet.

"Okay guys, no case. So take the opportunity to actually enjoy your evening," Cragen stated. "See you tomorrow."

**AN: Thanks for helping me end this one Jenna. Way back when we were in Pre-Calc/Trig! haha**


	3. You Like Your Partner

AN: So I love updating this story. But even more so I love all of your reviews! Thanks so much everyone! Here's more, yay! Enjoy!

She was online. Elliot wondered if she was waiting for him. He wondered if she had been thinking about him as much as he'd been thinking about her. When he went to get his coffee this morning, he'd nearly burst out laughing. He loved inside jokes.

A message popped up. It was from her.

L3: Hey Jamie!

El: Jamie? Really?

L3 : James is just so… old-fashioned. No offense. So until you tell me your real name, Jamie it is.

El: James is my real name. It's just my middle.

L3: Well until you tell me your first name, then.

El: Well I'm not telling you.

L3: Is your name really that bad? It's Dexter isn't it?

El: Dexter? Please. I have a great name, it just doesn't concern you.

L3: Whatever.

Elliot was craving to know more about her. The small talk and everything had been great, but he wanted it to go deeper, wanted to know what made her tick. Maybe now wasn't the best time for that.

El: So I need some gift buying advice. You think you could help me?

L3: Depends. For who and what?

El: Christmas and for my partner.

L3: Life partner?

El: Work partner.

L3: Female?

El: Exactly.

L3: Hmm… jewelry is always nice, but it might send the wrong message…unless you're trying to send the wrong message…

Elliot almost laughed out loud. Him and Olivia? A couple?

El: Actually, it's just an office gift exchange. I'm not trying to send any message.

L3: Uh-huh sure.

El : What's _that_ supposed to mean?

L3: Is she married?

El: No…

L3: Interesting…

El: Liv!

It felt weird typing her name. He was talking about Olivia, with Olivia. Granted they were different Olivias…he hoped.

L3: I'm sorry, but I fully believe in sexual tension amongst co-workers.

El: Good to know. Now any gift ideas?

L3: Tell me something about her.

El: Like what?

L3: Anything. Something so I can know what she's like.

Describe Olivia. She was stubborn minded. Sometimes she acted like a real bitch. But she was also the kindest person he knew. She was always looking out for the victims. And when she smiled, it was if her chocolate brown eyes sparkled. And when she laughed her shoulder length curls would bounce up and down. God, she was beautiful.

Wait…this was his _partner._ Olivia. The girl whose hair used to be just as short as his. The girl who used to be just one of the guys… Olivia had certainly changed.

L3: You still there?

El: Oh yeah. Sorry.

L3: You realize that by taking that long of a pause to think about her, you feel something?

El: Who said I was thinking about her?

L3: Get her jewelry, Jamie. It's obvious you _want_ to make the wrong impression.

El: I don't –

L3: Yes, you do. I have to go, my dinner's ready. I might get back on later. If not, have a good night.

*Liv. Love. Laugh. has logged off.*

Elliot stared blankly at the screen. He had feelings for Olivia? Did he? He wasn't sure. And had this fact ruined any chances he had with his other Olivia? His other Olivia? He didn't own them.

He ran a hand over his face and got up from his computer. He decided dinner was probably a good idea and went to go find some.

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Olivia picked up her laptop and brought it into her room. She crawled between the covers of her bed, and checked to see if he was online again. He wasn't. She was about to log off when he messaged her.

King_of_Queens: Hey you came back.

Liv: You did too. Listen about earlier…

KoQ: Don't worry about it. But may I ask if that assumption came from a personal experience?

Liv: Sort of…

KoQ: Do tell?

Olivia really didn't want to get into that right now. She wasn't sure how she felt about it, about him. Now just wasn't the time.

Liv: Maybe another time. So if I have this guy friend and I needed to get him something for Christmas, what would you recommend?

KoQ: What's your relationship with this guy?

Liv: He's my partner.

KoQ: Hmm… a gift card?

Liv: Wow, thanks for the great insight.

KoQ: Well, I don't know. Why don't you just ask him?

Liv: It's a _secret_ gift exchange. He can't know I drew his name.

KoQ: Well you never told me that. What's he like?

Olivia thought about Elliot. He had a serious anger-management problem and he could be a stubborn son of a bitch. He was also constantly beating up the perps. But despite all that, Elliot was a great guy. When he wanted to, he was capable of showing serious compassion. He was always looking out for her, whether she wanted him to or not. And then of course, there were those muscles. Her partner was ripped. Plus Elliot had the most gorgeous blue eyes… Damn he was fine.

Olivia told herself to get a grip. This was Elliot after all. Her married… recently divorced partner. The guy who used to treat her like one of the guys. The guy who had stopped doing that as soon as her hair grew out. The guy who…

KoQ: That weird huh?

Liv: Excuse me?

KoQ: Well it's been like two minutes and you haven't come up with a single thing to say about the guy.

Liv: I just don't know where to begin.

KoQ: I hear the beginning is always a nice place to start.

Liv: Cute.

KoQ: I get cuter. ;)

Olivia laughed.

KoQ: You were referring to my comment, right? And not your partner?

Liv: My partner _is_ pretty cute…but I was referring to your comment.

KoQ: Uh-oh. You think your partner's cute?

Liv: Well…I guess…

KoQ: You got the hots for your partner.

Liv: I never said that. I don't think of him that way.

KoQ: You will now.

Liv: ???

KoQ: Now that I've planted this image in your head, you're gonna visualize it. You'll probably start having some pretty hot dreams pretty soon…

Liv: I will not! I'm not like that.

KoQ: Whatever you say.

Liv: Are you judging me?

KoQ: No! Look, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to offend you.

Liv: It's okay. Let's just forget about it. So you're a guy, what do you want for Christmas?

KoQ: A new car.

Liv: I'm not buying him that.

KoQ: What about me?

Liv: I don't even know you.

KoQ: Let's fix that. I was born in Queens in the 60's. My father's dead and I think my mother's bipolar. I have an older brother, whom I feel like I never see. I'm divorced with four kids. Some days I feel like my job is all that I have. Oh and I really love old timey music, Sinatra and such. Help any?

Liv: Actually, yeah it does.

KoQ: Your turn.

Liv: My mother died six years ago. I never knew my father. I was an only child until about 5 months ago when I realized I have a half-brother from my father. He's younger than me, but not by a whole lot. I was engaged once, but I broke it off. My only friends in this world are the people I work with, as pathetic as that sounds. My partner… I've always seen him as my best friend, but lately I feel like he's freezing me out.

KoQ: Have you done anything to make him do that?

Well, she left him here to go undercover in Oregon. Left him after Gitano. She was too afraid of getting too close to him. They both knew it was happening. Oh then there was the fact that she'd almost lost him his job. Yes, things were definitely rocky between them. Olivia sighed.

Liv: What haven't I done?

KoQ: That bad, huh?

Liv: I guess I deserve it, but I miss the relationship we used to have. We used to talk. It was subtle, but talking nonetheless.

KoQ: He'll come around. Give him time to cool off.

Liv: I have been. How much time does he need?

KoQ: Hard to say. Listen, I have an early day tomorrow. Mind if we resume later?

Liv: Yeah I have an early day as well. I'll talk to you tomorrow.

KoQ: All right. Night.

Liv: Night.

Olivia turned off her laptop and slid further under her covers. She felt confused. Confused for the feelings that this guy claimed she had for her partner, for Elliot. Confused if she was capable of developing feelings for this guy. Match . com had matched them for a reason. A reason, she hoped, she would find out soon.


	4. 911 All Over Again

AN: This chapter contains spoilers for the season 7 episode, 911. Ok so a lot of you have been asking why Liv and El haven't figured out they've been matched with each other yet. They couldn't find out right away, or else there would be no story! It's going to take Liv quite a while to put two and two together, fyi… It'll still be fabu though! Enjoy!

He had a hunch. There was something she had said last night, that made him wonder. Could the two Olivias be the same one? He had to know. Elliot debated asking her about it directly, but if it wasn't her, he didn't want to embarrass himself. He had to be subtle.

Olivia yawned as she checked over her paperwork. Her hair was curly today and loose. Like it had been the other day after they'd had an all-nighter.

"Late night?" Elliot asked with a smirk.

"None of your business," Olivia mumbled, without looking up.

Some of her curls spilled over her shoulder. Her hair looked so soft.

"You doing anything with Simon this holiday?"

"Why would I?"

"Because he's your brother."

"_Half_-brother."

"What happened to 'he's my brother. I have to protect him'?"

Olivia finally looked up. Elliot could see the lack of sleep in her eyes.

"Why are you talking to me?" Olivia asked.

"What?"

"Ever since the whole Simon thing, you've been ignoring me. No wait ever since I left you to go to Oregon. But maybe it was before that, even. Ever since Gitano, you can't even look at me the same way. Face it Elliot, things have changed between us."

Elliot stood there, unmoving. Olivia pushed back her chair and stood up, shaking her head. She started to leave, but Elliot grabbed her wrist, stopping her.

"I don't want things to be different anymore between us, Liv. You're all I have."

Olivia seemed to soften some.

"What about your children, Elliot?"

"Right now they're busy blaming me for the divorce."

"You're all I have too, El."

"Guys! Listen to this!" Munch exclaimed.

He put his desk phone on speaker.

"I bet you've heard about the missing girl by now, but if you haven't, here's your tip. I have her. We plan on having a lot of fun. Just thought you stiffs should know."

Dial tone.

"What the hell was that?" Elliot demanded.

"I'd say our next case," Munch responded, sarcastically.

"I'll get Morales to come over in case he calls again. Maybe we can trace the call," Cragen stated.

Elliot glanced at Olivia next to him. He noticed a sudden change in her manner again. She seemed uneasy.

"What's wrong, Liv?" he asked her.

"It's just…never mind."

"What? You can tell me, Liv. Being more open with each other will help fix things."

"You weren't there. How are you supposed to understand?"

"Make me."

Olivia shook her head. "Later."

"Liv, if you don't talk to me, we're never going to get out of this rut."

"I realize that, Elliot. I meant we don't have time for storytelling now. We have a girl to save."

"So where do we start?" Fin asked.

"We could star 69 him," Munch suggested.

"Wait until Morales gets here," Cragen instructed. "We need a location."

As they waited for Morales to show up, Elliot couldn't help but stare at Olivia. She kept fidgeting. He wanted to know what was bothering her. _Think Stabler, where did you go when she was left here alone?_

Well there was the time when he was in Prague and the time when he was pushed through a window… He'd heard about the case during the "window fiasco." Some poison that even got to Liv. But it's what happened while he was in Prague that he knew nothing about.

No one ever told him exactly what happened here while he was there. Maybe whatever it was, it had affected Olivia. Had she lost a victim? And what did this have to do with a phone call?

"All right, I'm here," Morales announced. "Get anything yet?"

"No, we were waiting until you got here," Cragen told him.

"Can I star 69 him now?" Munch asked.

"Go for it," Cragen agreed.

Munch proceeded in doing so. The phone rang on the other end and Morales was prepared to track the call.

"You getting anything?" Fin asked.

"The signal keeps moving," Morales replied.

"So either they're in a car…" Fin started.

"Or there's a signal scrambler," Olivia finished.

Everyone turned to her, looking sympathetically. Elliot was confused.

"Did I miss something?" Elliot asked.

"Later, El," Olivia muttered.

Elliot backed off, but he couldn't shake the feeling that something was wrong with her.

"No answer," Munch sighed, hanging up.

"What do you think he's doing to her?" Olivia asked, softly.

"Maybe nothing. It could have been a prank," Fin suggested.

Olivia glared at him.

"Liv, it was one stupid phone call," Munch stated. "You can't have a gut feeling already."

"What if I do?"

Munch and Fin exchanged a glance.

"Okay I am _really_ confused now," Elliot announced.

"I was right last time, wasn't I?" Olivia asked, ignoring Elliot. "Maria almost _died_ because we wasted too much time debating if she was real or not."

"But she didn't," Munch protested.

Olivia looked like she was going to scream.

"This girl is real until proven fake," Olivia said, trying to calm herself.

Elliot gave up on trying to understand the situation and sat back down at his desk. Huang walked in.

"Has he called again?" Huang asked.

"No. Munch tried star 69ing him, but there was no answer. His signal keeps moving as well," Fin explained.

"Scrambler?" Huang guessed.

No one responded. Elliot sat watching the scene from his desk. For some reason, they all seemed to be afraid of Olivia. Afraid that she would lash out against them again.

So the girl hadn't died, but it was obvious that it had been a close call. It was obvious that Olivia had become attached to this girl. And it was obvious that there had been a phone call which was debated to be legit.

Elliot sighed and mindlessly logged on to match . com. He wasn't much of a help today anyway. She wasn't on, which made him believe even more that the Olivias were one in the same. He logged off and tried to focus on the case.

"Do you think he'll call again?" Fin was asking.

"Most likely. If this guy had successfully abducted this girl without us knowing only to call and inform us, it means he's a thrill-seeker. He wants every moment he's with her to be dangerous, or an adventure," Huang analyzed.

The phone started ringing and the precinct got eerily quiet. Munch answered, putting it on speaker phone.

"Hello?"

"I think my daughter's been kidnapped."

"When was the last time you heard from her?"

"She was spending the weekend with her father, or supposed to be. He says she never showed up."

"How was she getting to his house?"

"She's 16. She's been riding the subway by herself since she was 13. She's never had any trouble before!"

"Okay ma'am, calm down. We'll find her. What's her name?"

"Ashley Brigford."

"You need to come down to the station and bring a photograph or something…"

"I can't leave! What if she comes home?"

"Then can her father come down?"

"He lives in Jersey."

"Listen, you need to come down to the station to file a formal report. Leave a note of you're that worried about her coming home to an empty house. Chances are that if your daughter was really kidnapped, she won't just come home on her own."

The lady reluctantly agreed and came down to the station. The report was filed and she left.

"Now what?" Fin asked.

"I want to get her picture out there, but only within the force," Cragen stated. "I'm afraid that if it goes public right now, her kidnapper will freak and kill her."

Elliot looked over at Olivia. She seemed to have calmed down a bit, but she still looked uneasy. She was standing somewhat away from the rest of them. He walked over to her.

"You sure you're okay?" Elliot asked her.

Olivia shrugged.

"Come on," Elliot told her, leading her into the hallway. "We can't do anything until we know more anyway."

He sat down on a bench and motioned for Olivia to sit next to him. She did.

"So tell me what this is about," Elliot suggested. "Was I in Prague?"

Olivia laughed slightly. "No, El, this was like 3 or 4 years after Prague. I can't remember where you were, but you weren't here."

"So what happened?"

"I was headed out for a date when we got a 911 call from this girl, Maria. She said she was locked in a room alone and that she'd been there for a while. I just started talking to her, trying to figure out who and where she was. The others began to suspect the whole thing to be some sick joke, but I was convinced that Maria was the real deal. By talking to Maria, I was able to ferret enough information from her so that we had a place to start, but Maria's captor had an affinity for electronics and had done everything he could to make sure that no one could find the little girl he had kidnapped.

I was on the phone with her all night, just trying to keep her awake and on the phone so we could get a clear signal; one that the scrambler wasn't screwing up. Then her kidnapper came home, took the phone away from her, and hung up. We'd been able to get a neighborhood and Maria had given me a description of him. We went over there and found him, but not her."

"Did you ever find her?" Elliot asked softly.

Olivia nodded.

"Alive?"

"Buried alive… she lived."

A silence overwhelmed them. He had been wrong, but not by much. What should he say to her?

"You'd think that they would have learned their lesson by now," Olivia mumbled.

"What?"

"They're in there debating the legitimacy of the phone call, of the girl. Even after everything that happened with Maria, they still believe these things to be pranks. I will not let what happened to Maria happen to anyone else. Buried alive… I can't imagine how scared she must have been."

"You can't save everyone, Olivia."

"I can sure as hell try."

With that, Olivia got up and went back into the bullpen, leaving Elliot alone on the bench.

AN: Eh sort of fillery. Not every chapter can be a winner. Haha Drop me a review! Or maybe just say 'hi.' Your choice! :)


	5. An Evening at Maloney's

AN: Out of town until Wednesday, so make this last! Haha Again, thank you all for the wonderful reviews. Ya'll are such a blessing! Suggestion: Listen to "Everything" by Lifehouse when reading the last scene, it adds something. :) P.S. I think I'm dying Olivia's hair blonde… Enjoy!

El: You there?

L3: Yup.

El: How's life?

L3: Ha! What kind of question is that?

El: A general one.

L3: Are there a lot of women at your work?

El: Not really, no. It's mostly men.

L3: Typical.

El: ???

L3: It's nothing, ignore it.

El: Ok…

L3: So, find anything for your partner yet?

El: No. How goes your Christmas shopping?

L3: Nowhere. People are just so hard to buy for.

El: No worries. You'll think of something.

L3: I hope so.

El: So is it just you and your brother, er half-brother, this Christmas?

L3: Just me actually. He has plans with his girlfriend and her son.

El: Why don't you join them?

L3: It would be awkward…

This had to be Olivia Benson. It just had to be. Serena died 6 years ago, just like _this_ Olivia had told him. Her brother sounded an awful lot like Simon. Elliot _had_ to know, but how to go about doing it?

El: I think we should meet.

Elliot held his breath.

L3: Umm… I'm not sure if that's a good idea…

El: It can be somewhere public. The website matched us for a reason, so we could well…date.

L3: We've only been talking for like three days. You won't even tell me your name.

El: I will once I meet you.

L3: I don't know…

El: Please? I'm not a creeper, I promise. If you have a bad time, you can leave.

There was a pause in the conversation. Elliot decided to turn on his charm.

El: Liv, can you really sit there and tell yourself that there's no spark between us? At the risk of sounding like a stalker, I haven't been able to stop thinking about you. I look forward to our conversations. Maybe it's because ever since I got divorced, I haven't really had anyone to talk to. I guess I just need a friend right now…

L3: So, do you know where Maloney's is?

_I knew the pathetic act would work_, Elliot smiled to himself.

El: Yup. Go there all of the time.

L3: Maybe we have seen each other…I'll wear a umm… black dress so you can recognize me.

El: What if someone else is wearing that?

L3: I thought you said you've been to Maloney's?

El: Haha. Good point. So tomorrow night?

L3: 8:00?

El: Sounds good.

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

"Casey!"

"What's wrong?"

"He wants to meet me!"

"Say what?"

Olivia sat down in the chair in front of Casey's desk.

"My Match man wants to meet me," Olivia repeated.

"In person?"

"No, through you. Of course in person!"

"You told him no, right?" Casey asked.

Olivia looked at the floor.

"You didn't…" Casey trailed off.

Olivia looked her in the eyes.

"You did!" Casey exclaimed. "Olivia!"

"He was begging. He pulled the whole 'I'm divorced and lonely' card. What was I supposed to do?"

"Say no? Liv, you barely know this guy!"

"Case, we're going out for drinks at Maloney's, not getting married."

Casey raised an eyebrow at her. "Yet…"

Olivia rolled her eyes.

"He seems like a really nice guy. He reminds me of someone, but I can't put a finger on who it is," Olivia stated.

"Elliot?" Casey guessed.

"No, no, no."

"You sure?"

"No."

"Liv?"

Olivia and Casey froze. That voice was unmistakably Elliot's. How much had he heard?

"The guy called again. Left another message," Elliot announced.

Olivia jumped to her feet.

"What did it say?" Olivia asked.

"Umm… the message's still on the phone. Cragen wanted me to come get you."

Olivia glanced back at Casey.

"Go," Casey told her. "We'll talk later."

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

"Still no luck in tracking me down? I'll spare you the wild goose chase and inform you that I have a signal scrambler. There's no way that you'll be able to track my calls. Also thought you should know that this one's a screamer. Screamed real loud our first time. I should be going. Don't want to keep her waiting."

"Son of a bitch," Elliot muttered.

"That bastard. That bastard!" Olivia exclaimed. "Do you believe me now?"

"Never said we didn't," Cragen assured her.

"Why do you think he told us he has a signal scrambler?" Elliot asked.

"It's part of his adventure," Huang explained.

"Some twisted adventure," Elliot muttered.

"Are we going to be able to find this guy?" Olivia asked.

"At this rate, he'll probably tell us where he is himself," Munch joked. "A real thrill-seeker right?"

"I doubt he'll go _that_ far," Huang said. "But who knows? Maybe he'll slip up."

"Yeah. Maybe, just maybe, we'll get lucky," Munch added.

Cragen had gone into his office and at this point, he came back out.

"Since this case is sort of at a stand still, I've got something new for you guys too," Cragen told them.

"What?" Elliot asked, raising his eyebrows.

"A rape case," Cragen replied.

"Umm…duh?" Olivia muttered.

"Here's the address," Cragen said, handing it to them. "Happy hunting."

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Elliot stood outside Maloney's. He looked at his watch. 8:03. She was in there. Liv. Love. Laugh. was in there waiting for him. It had been a long day. So long in fact, that Elliot was surprised they had been able to leave on time. They had spent all day tracking down lead after lead in the rape case Cragen had given them that morning. Some college student had been raped by someone she didn't know. He and Liv had a new suspect, but Cragen told them to just wait until tomorrow, which was very unlike him.

Elliot took a deep breath and entered the bar. His breath caught in his throat when he saw Olivia Benson sitting by the window in a little black dress. He did a quick scan of the bar and sure enough, she was the only one in a black dress. His Olivias were one in the same.

"Hot date?" Elliot teased, walking up next to her.

Olivia blushed.

"Umm…sort of," Olivia laughed. "I've never actually met the guy so I don't know if he's hot or not."

"Who set you up?"

"Casey."

Liar.

"What's his name?" Elliot asked.

"She wouldn't tell me."

Elliot sat down across from her.

"What are you doing?" Olivia asked.

"What does it look like?"

"You can't sit there. I'm waiting for someone."

"I'll move when he gets here."

"He doesn't know what I look like. He knows to look for a black dress."

"Well you're the only one wearing that, so…"

"But if he comes in and sees you with me, he'll think that I stood him up."

"What time were you meeting?"

"8:00."

Elliot looked at his watch.

"He's ten minutes late," he stated.

"He probably came in, saw this, and left" Olivia replied.

"Are you referring to your looks or the fact that I'm sitting here?"

Olivia just stared at him.

"You're beautiful, Liv. Don't worry, it's not your looks."

"What _are_ you doing here?" Olivia asked him.

"I was thirsty," Elliot shrugged, taking a swing of Olivia's beer.

"Get your own drink," Olivia complained, snatching her drink back.

Elliot laughed. Olivia joined him. It was so good to hear her laugh. Elliot watched her. When she laughed her whole face lit up. Her chocolate brown eyes sparkled as those damn curls bounced on her shoulders, taunting him. God, what he wouldn't give to just run his hands through those silky strands…

"What?"

"I'm sorry, what did you say?" Elliot asked, shaking his head.

"Well I said 'what,' but I was implying 'why are you staring at me like that'?" Olivia rephrased.

"No reason," Elliot lied.

Olivia looked to the door as a man walked in.

"That's not him," Elliot told her.

"How do you know?"

"I just do."

Sure enough, the man walked over to some woman in a nurse's uniform and kissed her.

"How did you?" Olivia started.

"I'm good like that," Elliot cut her off.

"Okay smart ass, is that him?

Olivia pointed to the man looking around the room confused.

"Nope."

The man's eyes fell on Olivia for the briefest second and then he wandered over to a table of seemingly single women. A cocky grin spread over Elliot's face.

"So what _does_ this guy look like?" Olivia asked.

"He's tall, dark, and handsome."

"I guess that means it isn't you."

"Oh, ouch."

Olivia just smiled and took a swig of Elliot's drink, which had just arrived.

"Payback," she winked.

"Now there's lipstick on my glass," Elliot complained.

"You brought it upon yourself."

"I was thirsty."

"So was I."

"Your drink was right there."

"So?"

"So?!"

Olivia took another sip of his drink, before downing the rest of her own.

"Take that," Olivia laughed.

"Are you _trying_ to get drunk?"

"No, I'm trying to make a point."

"Which is?"

"…I forgot."

"Okay, I think you've had enough."

"I've had one drink and two sips of yours. I'd hardly call that drunk."

"Liv…"

"Elliot, you don't know what drunk is until you've lived with an alcoholic."

At the mention of her mother, her mood seemed to shift.

"You okay?" Elliot asked her.

"I'm fine," Olivia replied, her fingers playing with her empty bottle.

Elliot reached out and touched her hand.

"It must have been hard," Elliot said.

"You have no idea," Olivia whispered.

"Actually I do."

"Your parents weren't alcoholics."

"No, but that didn't keep my dad from hitting me."

Olivia looked up from the table and into his eyes.

"Your dad hit you?"

Elliot nodded. "My mom was…difficult to live with and he was against hitting women, so he'd take his frustrations out on me."

"Was she sick?"

"Bipolar, I think."

"I guess we have more in common than I thought."

"I didn't know Serena hit you."

"She came at me with a broken beer bottle once. I pushed her into a wall, before she could cut me. She just used to get so wasted. She never knew what she was doing. It wasn't until I left for college that she seemed to change. We actually started talking, but then she got too drunk again and fell down a subway."

Elliot squeezed her hand.

"We've had some pretty crappy times haven't we?" Elliot asked.

"Yeah."

They sat there for a while in silence. Elliot's hand was still on top of Olivia's.

"El, is your mom still alive?" Olivia asked.

"Yeah. She lives in Long Beach Island, New Jersey."

"Why don't you ever talk about her? I mean you know everything about my parents, and I don't even know your parents' names."

"Their names are Joe and Bernadette. I don't like talking about them, Liv. My mom embarrasses me and my dad… I don't know _everything_ about your parents either."

"You know that Serena Benson was raped when she was in college by her cafeteria's food supplier, Joseph Hollister. You know that I'm the product of that rape. You know that Hollister married Sharon Marsden and they had a son, my half-brother, Simon Marsden. Today alone I learned everything I know about your parents. Now who's the one with the sharing problem?"

"You knew they have another son, my brother Evan."

"Who you also never talk about."

"Olivia, my past isn't a very interesting thing…"

Olivia cut him off. "Neither is mine, but I talk about it."

"No, you don't. I may have know that Serena was an alcoholic, but I had no idea she tried to hurt you. And I don't know what you were like as a kid, or as a teenager. The only Olivia I've ever known is the cop version. It's a rare thing for you to show your true colors."

"Likewise."

Olivia shook Elliot's hand off of hers before crossing her arms over her chest.

"Liv, what do you think of me?" Elliot asked.

"Come again?"

"I mean do you think of me as just your partner, or a good friend, or your best friend…"

"I guess I'd say that I consider you to be one of my best friends. You and Casey…"

"Okay so don't best friends generally know more about each other than we do?"

"Generally speaking, yes."

"So let's fix that. Let's get to know each other better."

"There's a reason why partners don't, Elliot. They get too close, and they'll chose each other over the job."

"We've already done that, Liv."

Olivia's hand instantly went to the scar on her neck. She was thinking the same thing he was.

"You said we never talk anymore. So let's start talking to each other again, really talking."

Olivia remained silent, tracing the scar along her neck. Elliot sighed.

"When I was little I had this dream of being an architect. I was always building these elaborate towers and buildings with my blocks. But my dad was a cop. He wanted me to be one too. Even after everything he'd done, I still looked up to him. So after I got out of the Marines I became a cop. Now here I am. Don't even remember how I got roped into Special Victims…"

"I wanted Special Victims. Wanted it because of who I was and what happened to my mother."

"Did you always want to be a cop?"

"No," Olivia shook her head. "I went through that whole teacher stage that I think everyone went through. I was worried though, that if I became a teacher, I'd end up like my mom and I didn't want that. So then for a while I wanted to be her polar opposite. I wanted to be a stay at home mom who did all of the stuff Serena never did. That lasted until I realized I'd have to get married right out of high school. For the longest time I wanted to be an artist. But as soon as my mom told me about her rape, I knew I wanted to help people and I became a cop."

"I didn't know you drew, Liv. Any good?"

"My teachers used to tell me I had great potential. Remind me, and I'll show you something some day."

"Do you still draw?"

"No, I haven't since college. I just don't have the time."

"What did you draw?"

"Still life, landscapes, people, animals, abstract… basically anything and everything."

"I can't believe I didn't know that."

"There's a lot you don't know about me, El."

"So tell me more. What were you like in high school."

"I had this one best friend, I had since like first grade. Her name was Katrina, but I called her Kat. She was into drama, so in high school I hung out with the drama kids and the art department. I was quiet and Kat wasn't. I guess you could say I was always in her shadow. Then she slept with my boyfriend a week before the two of us planned on losing our virginity. I stopped talking to them after I found out. I'll save college for another day."

"Liv, that sucks."

"Yeah it does. Especially since 5 years later I saw their wedding announcement in the paper. Last I heard, they had three kids."

Elliot touched her hand again. She let him.

"Before I take my turn, can I ask you something really personal?" Elliot asked.

"Depends, what is it?"

"How many guys have you been with?"

"As in slept with?"

Elliot nodded. Olivia sighed.

"I don't know. Less than twenty…I feel like only one of them was a one night stand, but I could be wrong. I don't tend to dwell on the past."

"Cassidy?"

"Good memory."

"Did you love any of them?"

"I like to think I did. One of them was my fiancé."

"You were engaged? When?"

"I was a senior in high school. I started dating one of my mom's college students. It made her so mad, that when he proposed, I told him yes. I think I did it more to get away from her than out of love for him. I ended up breaking it off."

"Wow. Who were the others? Anyone interesting?"

"Guys from high school, college. People I met my first years as a cop. No one special. I'm done now. Your turn."

"Well in high school, I was a football jock for a while. Then I met Kathy. She was so pretty. When she finally agreed to go out with me, I was so happy. We became obsessed with each other. Before I knew it, I was dropping passes and skipping practice just to spend more time with her. Then when we were seniors, Kathy ended up pregnant. Being the Catholic man that I am, I married her. Nine months later, Maureen was born. Kathy's the only person I've ever been with. I'll always love her, but I guess not enough to save our marriage. Perhaps we were just too young when we got married. A marriage like that couldn't last. I just wonder what would've happened if I hadn't gotten Kathy pregnant. I wouldn't have the same kids, but…"

"Love's a bitch."

"So I've heard."

"God, our lives are depressing. Abusive parents. Crappy love lives. Morbid job…"

Elliot looked at his watch.

"Dang. It's ten o'clock! Guess your date isn't showing," Elliot stated.

"It's okay. I had a much better time with you anyway."

"Gee thanks."

"I'm serious. It's been a long time since I've talked to anyone like this. It was really nice."

Elliot and Olivia got up and walked to the door in silence. They stepped out into the night air and bid their goodbyes. Elliot turned to leave, but Olivia stopped him.

"Hey El!"

He turned around.

"For what it's worth, I'm glad you didn't follow your dreams," Olivia told him.

Elliot smiled. "Me too, Liv. Me too."

**AN: Longest. Chapter. Ever. Jen, pg. 38 second notebook. Take notice that Olivia's dad and Elliot's dad have the same first name. Do the writer's even realize they did this? Here's a game: spot the Carrie Underwood song. It's in there some where. Peace out y'all. Send me your love! :)**


	6. Haunt

**AN: Chapter contains possible spoilers for Fault. Haha, ya'll were right. The Carrie Underwood song was "All-American Girl." Thanks again for all of the reviews. Here's the next installment. Enjoy!**

When Olivia got home, she felt like she hadn't felt in a long time. King_of_Queens may not have shown up, but Olivia was glad he hadn't. She quickly logged on to match . com to see if he had left an explanation for his absence. Sure enough, he had.

_Dear Olivia,_

_I'm hoping you get this before you go to Maloney's. A family friend has died and the funeral is set for tonight. I'm deeply sorry, I was so looking forward to meeting you. Sorry for such short notice, it was a very last minute thing. Wow. That whole note sounds very old-fashioned. Haha Anyway, have a good night._

_Jamie ;)_

Olivia sighed. She had forgotten all about him. She had been lost in her own little world tonight; lost in Elliot's world. She was starting to fear that what "Jamie" had told her was right: she had feelings for her partner.

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

"Here's where he lives," Elliot said, walking up the front porch steps.

"Yep," Olivia mumbled.

They were chasing the lead Cragen had told them to wait on yesterday.

"Did your blind date leave you a message?" Elliot asked.

"Yeah, something about a funeral for a family friend."

"Are you going to reschedule?"

Olivia shrugged and rang the doorbell. An older man answered. He looked familiar, but neither Elliot nor Olivia knew why. The man stared at Olivia for a moment, like she looked familiar to him as well.

"May I help you?" he asked.

"Yes, we're looking for a John Hampton," Elliot replied.

"That's me," the man answered. "What can I do for you officers?"

"Detectives actually," Olivia corrected. "We're investigating a rape."

"Forgive me, but I don't see what that has to do with me. I think I'm a little too old to rape anyone," John said.

"Your name came up in our investigation. So if you could just come down to the precinct with us…" Elliot started.

"Am I under arrest?" John asked.

"Well no, but…"

"Then I don't have to go anywhere with you. I know my rights. Good day detectives."

John slammed the door in their faces.

"Well that was a wash," Elliot started. "Come one let's go run a background check on the guy."

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

"Your Mr. Hampton wasn't always Mr. Hampton," Munch announced.

"What do you mean?" Elliot asked.

"He changed his name, and not legally either. John Hampton was born Joseph Hollister," Munch told them.

Olivia felt her world spiral out of control.

"Married to a Sharon Marsden? Next of kin Simon Marsden?" Olivia asked.

"Umm…yeah. How did you know?" Munch asked.

Elliot was there to catch her when she stumbled.

"But he's dead! Simon said…the coroner's report…" Olivia rambled.

"It's okay, Liv. You're okay," Elliot soothed.

"Munch is wrong! Hampton can't be Joe Hollister, he can't!" Olivia exclaimed.

"I checked it twice, Liv. He's the same guy," Munch told her bewildered. "Who told you he was dead?"

"Simon did. The coroner did. It was ruled a suicide," Olivia explained.

"Who is this Simon?" Fin asked.

Olivia looked at Elliot.

"Her brother," Elliot replied.

Fin and Munch looked at them confused.

"Half-brother," Olivia corrected.

"Wait. That would make Joe Hollister…" Munch trailed off.

"My father," Olivia finished. "And my mother's rapist."

"You're not going to do anything stupid this time are you?" Elliot whispered.

"This time?" Olivia whispered back.

"Hmm…spying on Simon, getting us arrested in Jersey, causing our partnership to be re-evaluated…"

"I didn't drag you down with me, Elliot. You tagged along for the ride from the very beginning."

"My point is, that when it comes to your dad, you tend not to care about the consequences of your actions. You're already on thin ice Liv, from the Simon thing. I know you want answers, but don't use your authority to get them."

"I'm going to talk to him again."

"I'm coming with you."

"He'll recognize you."

"He'll recognize _you_."

"So was Hampton or Hollister, or whoever the hell he is, cleared?" Munch asked.

"He wouldn't talk to us," Elliot explained. "So, no he hasn't been cleared yet."

"Olivia, I'm taking you off of this case until if and when Hollister is cleared," Cragen told her.

"But Cragen," Olivia started to protest.

"No, Olivia. You know what happened with Simon," Cragen said.

Cragen continued dishing out orders, but Olivia stopped listening. She had been ordered to stay away from New Jersey too, but she didn't. When Olivia wanted answers, she got them. Nothing was going to stand in her way of finally confronting the man who raped her mom.

EEEEEEEEEEEEEOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

He hadn't been home. Elliot had followed Olivia all the way over to her father's house in upstate New York after work, and nobody had answered. What an epic waste of time.

L3: Jamie! Are you there?

Elliot turned to his screen. He'd forgotten that he'd logged in. Olivia was on.

El: I'm here, Liv. What's up?

L3: My partner's stalking me.

El: What?

He was stalking her? Why didn't he _know_ that he was stalking her?

L3: I went to see of my father would talk to me and he followed me there.

El: Wait you found your father? I thought you said you didn't know anything about him…

L3: Well he turned up.

El: How does that happen?

Elliot figured it was best to play the clueless card.

L3: I'll explain that later. Just know that it happened. My point is, I told my partner not to come with me to talk to him and he followed me up there.

El: I'd hardly call that stalking, Liv.

L3: Okay so maybe he's not stalking me, but still…

El: Maybe he was just worried about you. I'm sure he just wanted to make sure you were okay. I mean you've never met this dead beat who fathered you; things may not have ended up well. Trust me as a guy with a female partner, that's all he meant by it.

L3: *sigh* Whatever. So anyway, how was your funeral?

Funeral? What the-? Oh!

El: As expected. Sad.

L3: I'm sorry to hear that.

El: I'm sorry I had to bail on you. What'd you end up doing?

L3: Well my partner showed up and we ended up just talking until 10 pm.

El: Sounds like you had a nice time.

L3: I did. You know how I said he was freezing me out?

El: Yeah, I remember.

L3: Last night changed that. He wants us to start talking more and so do I…

El: Maybe he's falling for you.

L3: We've been through this.

El: No, we've been through you falling for him. He follows you to make sure you're okay. He decides you haven't been talking enough. He's newly divorced and you're hot.

L3: You've never seen me. How can you claim I'm hot?

Shit.

El: Just an assumption.

L3: Maybe it's you that's been stalking me.

El: I haven't been stalking anyone. Let's just change the subject. Tell me this story about your dad.

L3: I don't want to scare you away.

El: That's a hard thing to do.

_Come on Olivia, tell me_, Elliot thought. _I need to know how much you trust me._

L3: When my mom was in college, she was raped. She got pregnant with me. I found my half-brother by running my DNA through the system. I guess I should mention that I'm a detective. Simon, my half-brother, told me our father was dead. But we have this case right now. Our prime suspect, it's him. Our father is alive and the prime suspect in a rape case.

He didn't know how to respond. He knew Olivia, he knew _this_. He worked with her. He was working her father's case. What would someone who didn't know all of this say?

L3: I lost you, huh?

El: No, I just… I don't know what to say.

L3: Most people don't.

El: You tell people often that you're the product of a rape?

L3: No, only my co-workers and brother know. You too now. I was referring to the fact that I work in the Special Victims Unit. We deal primarily with rape cases and that's what usually scares people away from me.

El: I don't see why it would. That's really honorable work.

L3: Ha. I'm glad _you_ see it that way.

El: Did you choose Special Victims because of your mom?

L3: Yeah, I did.

El: Do you ever regret making that decision?

L3: There are nights when I can't sleep, because the cases are so bad. But in the end, it's all worth it. I love my job.

El: What do you consider to be your hardest case?

L3: Funny, I just talked about this with my partner.

Elliot assumed she was talking about the 911 phone call from Maria.

L3: There are two cases that pretty much tie for the worst. Elliot, he's my partner, and I were just talking this case I had last year. He was somewhere, but not with me. Basically, we received this 911 call from this little girl named Maria. She said she was being held somewhere against her will. Everyone thought it was a prank call, but I knew she was real. I spent hours talking to her on the phone trying to trace her call. We finally found her buried alive in the remains of old restaurant. She survived.

El: What made that so bad compared to all the others?

L3: I keep telling myself it was because no one believed that Maria was real. I kept telling them I knew in my gut that she was real and it was frustrating because everyone kept trying to prove me wrong.

El: But?

L3: But, there's this part of me that feels like it was because Elliot wasn't there.

He was taken aback by her answer. He'd been gone before, why was _this_ case so dependent on him?

El: Would he have sided with you?

L3: I know he would have, but I don't think having someone on my side was the problem. I just… I don't know.

El: You have feelings for you partner.

L3: Again with this? Really?

El: Yes, really. Now what was your other case?

L3: Just like that? You accept the fact that the girl was buried alive so easily… What do you do for a living?

El: That's not important.

L3: You know my name and my profession. You won't even tell me your first name.

El: -

L3: I'm not telling you about my worst case unless you tell me what you do for a living and your first name.

He knew what her worst case was. It was the same for him. He knew that Gitano had caused things to shift between them. That bastard had been the start of all of their problems. So was it worth it to risk her finding out about him if he told her the truth just to hear her take on the situation? Just to dig himself deeper into the problematic hole their relationship had become…

El: My dad was a cop, that's why I'm okay with the gruesome details. I'd rather not disclose my profession just yet. Ironically, my name is the same as your partner's. Now, tell me what happened.

L3: Elliot?

El: That's me…

L3: Well this may make this a tad awkward, but here go. Three dead. The parents grotesquely stabbed with their throats cut and drenched in blood in their kitchen. They were just sitting down to breakfast. Oldest daughter strangled to death in her own bed. Rape was attempted, but he couldn't perform. The two youngest, both in elementary school, were kidnapped. Had enough yet?

El: I can take it.

L3: The bastard was Victor Gitano. We ended up at a subway station. He was there with the two kids. He came up behind me and put a knife to my throat. He was going to kill me like he killed the parents. I felt the cold, hard metal cut into my skin. He pushed me to the ground and ran. I'm sure to Elliot it was if time had stopped. One of the kids, the boy, was like 10 feet away from him. He could've saved him, but he didn't. I'll never forget the panic in his voice as he yelled my name and ran to me.

Olivia certainly had a way with details. Her words brought back vivid memories that had been long since engraved into his mind.

L3: Elliot pulled me up by my coat. I don't think I've ever seen him cry, but in that moment, it looked as if he might. I told him I was fine and to go after Gitano. But he was too late. Gitano had left with the girl and the little boy was dead on the ground.

El: How bad was your cut?

L3: I was told that if the cut had been any deeper, there would have been trouble for me. The scar is still there. I don't think it'll ever go away.

El: What happened next?

L3: Elliot went from being concerned about me to pissed at me. He started blaming me for the boy's death, saying he shouldn't have to keep looking over his shoulder for me. I think this case is what started the freeze out. So anyway, the two of us ended up in an abandoned warehouse looking for the girl and Gitano. Elliot decided we should split up, seeing as how that worked so well the last time. I heard something coming from another room. I ran in and found Gitano holding a gun to Elliot's head. I raised my gun. Elliot told me to take the shot.

El: Wouldn't Gitano have shot your partner if you would've shot at him?

L3: Yes. I wouldn't be responsible for his death. He kept telling me to take the shot and so did Gitano. Told me maybe I'd get lucky and kill him before he could kill Elliot, but then he added that his reflexes were pretty good. It felt like we stood there for eternity, arguing over who was going to shoot. I've never felt more desperate. I actually considered taking the shot because I was getting so frustrated. I told Elliot I was sorry and he said "I know."

El: He was okay with you risking his life to kill Gitano?

L3: I never really understood what he meant; why he wanted me to sign his death warrant. A sniper killed Gitano, before I could…

El: What did you guys do after?

L3: We found the girl, still alive thank God. They made us go to the hospital, where we had this really awkward conversation that went along the lines of this: "I know you would've taken that shot if the sniper hadn't gotten to him first." "No, I wouldn't have. Do you really expect me to be responsible for your death? What about your kids?" "I don't know." "What about me?" Then he started rambling about how this shouldn't have happened. About how we were too close. He tells me that maybe we should get different partners because the job and I are the only things he has left and he doesn't want to lose either one.

El: So did he ask for a transfer?

L3: No, I did. And he got mad at me for it when it was his idea in the first place. I was only in computer crimes for two weeks before I felt obligated to come back to him. Then about a month later, an opportunity to go undercover in Oregon came up and I took it. Things haven't been the same since.

El: You'd think that what you went through with Gitano would've brought the two of you closer. I mean you both came out of it alive and… I don't know.

L3: Right after the sniper killed Gitano, Elliot moved over next to me. I wanted to hug him, touch him, something, _anything_ just to reassure him, or I guess more so reassure myself, that he was all right.

El: Why didn't you?

L3: If I could shrug and you'd see it, I would.

El: Why did you feel "obligated" to come back "to him" as you said?

L3: He…he had a male partner forced on him. Elliot has an anger management problem and his new partner was even worse. Cragen said he did it to show him what it was like to work with himself. Cragen's our captain, by the way. He couldn't believe that I'd been able to put up with Elliot for seven years. But Elliot as my partner is all I've ever really known. And I've never really seen it as "putting up" with him. Those were Cragen's words, not mine.

El: What do you see it as?

L3: A blessing I guess.

El: A blessing?

Elliot smiled to himself. Even after all of that, she found him to be a blessing.

L3: I've met some real pieces of work in my years as a cop. Even in my own unit, there's some "special" people, with their conspiracy theories and what not… Elliot's just…

El: God you're in love with him!

L3: You've gone from simply having feelings for him to being in love with him.

El: I'm not in love with him, you are.

L3: Oh my God. Good night.

El: So soon?

L3: Elliot, it's past midnight. Good night.

El: *sigh* G'Night.

L3: Oh and El?

El: Yeah?

L3: Thanks for listening.

El: Thanks for sharing.

**AN: Woo another long one! Jen bottom of 49. Please continue to share with me your love! :)**


	7. When The Pain Dies Down

AN: Hello all. Here's the run down because I know a lot of you have been asking. The story is only half way done so it's still gonna be a while before Liv finds out. It'll all be worth it though, so keep reading! Do it!!! Haha Enjoy!

"We got another call," Munch announced the next morning.

Olivia hadn't slept last night and she knew it was evident. After her long talk with "Match Elliot," she had laid awake thinking about her father, about Simon, about the phone calls and that poor girl, and about Elliot, _her_ Elliot. She'd opened up so much to this guy she barely knew. It was so unlike her. Olivia's head dropped forward and instantly snapped back up.

"Rough night?" Elliot asked.

"I just… I didn't sleep much," Olivia confessed.

"Did you sleep at all?"

Olivia shook her head.

"Liv…"

She cut him off. "What did this call say?"

Munch played them back the message.

"I thought you people were a dedicated breed. You haven't even tried to find this girl; find us. She finds this terribly sad. She's getting less resistant, which makes it less fun. You people really should consider saving her before you regret not."

"Where are we on this?" Cragen asked.

"We've been following lead after lead and we've gotten nowhere," Fin replied.

"What about Hollister?" Cragen wanted to know.

"We'll go talk to him," Olivia offered.

"No, Olivia, you won't. I took you off that case. Go work on the phone call kidnapper," Cragen ordered.

"But I -."

"Come on, Liv," Elliot said leading her over to their desks.

"Elliot I -."

"What happened to the passion you had for this case when it first came in?" Elliot asked.

"It's still there, but this is my _father_ we're talking about Elliot."

"I know."

"So what then? I have faith that our squad will find this girl. _I_ need answers."

"Olivia, this thing has consumed your life."

"This _thing_ is my life!"

"Think about what you're doing here."

"I know what I'm doing."

Olivia picked up her coat.

"I'm going to talk to him," she stated.

Elliot picked up his coat too.

"What are you doing?" Olivia asked.

"If you think I'm gonna let you do this alone, you're nuts."

"I can't let you do that."

"For better or for worse right?"

"We're not married."

"We're not even dating."

"Elliot…"

"I'm coming. And that's final."

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

"I can't do this."

"Yes you can, Olivia. We've come all this way…"

"It was stupid."

Elliot reached across the car and touched her hand.

"How long have you been looking for answers?" he asked.

"Since I realized it wasn't normal to not have a dad."

"Then get out of the car and talk to him."

"I don't know."

"He's kept newspaper articles about you, pictures of you. It's not like he doesn't know you exist."

"He's supposed to be dead."

"I'm sure he'll explain it. Maybe he had to go into the witness protection program, like Alex."

"Alex! I miss her…"

"That's not the point, Olivia."

"I know. Munch said his name change wasn't legal. He couldn't have been in the WPP."

"Okay well then -."

"And he's a rapist. He _raped_ my mother. I found reports identical to hers. He's raped more than once. For all we know, he raped this college student too."

"We're not here about the case. You're not even on it anymore, first of all. We're here for you. You need closure, Liv. He's the only person who can give it to you. Your mother, Simon, Mrs. Marsden, they've all given you the dots. Let this man connect them."

Olivia looked at him. She looked into his eyes. He wanted to know as badly as she did. Olivia sighed.

"You're coming with me, right?" she asked.

"Only if you want me to."

"I do."

"Then let's go," Elliot said, opening his car door.

Olivia didn't move. Elliot walked over and opened her door for her. He extended his hand.

"Come on, Liv. You can do this."

She took his hand and got out of the car. Elliot led her up to the house.

"You ready?" he asked.

"No, but go ahead."

He rang the doorbell. Olivia held her breath as she waited.

"Remember, don't ask him about the case. If he gives away any information to you, you can't use it and Cragen will have your ass."

"Maybe if he tells me, but if he tells you…"

"Just focus on your own issues, Liv. Not the case."

They heard footsteps and then the door opened.

"Detectives, what do you want now?" Hollister asked.

"This is off the record. It's a personal matter," Olivia replied.

"Interested in a threesome are we?"

"Watch it," Elliot told him.

"We know your name is really Joe Hollister," Olivia said.

"Ah you caught me. I've been going by a fake name. And that concerns you how?"

Olivia took a deep breath. "Does the name Serena Benson mean anything to you?"

Hollister's expression shifted. He seemed to be headed to a dark place.

"You were working at her college as the food distributor," Olivia clarified.

"She was pretty," Hollister mused. "Had the most gorgeous brown eyes, like yours."

"You raped her."

"She wanted it."

"You son of a bitch!"

"You're her aren't you? My prodigal rape baby."

Elliot's hand clamped around Olivia's wrist to hold her back.

"I knew you looked familiar from the moment I first saw you. You're such a pretty little thing, just like your mother."

"I am nothing like my mother."

"Well then, that makes you take after me. And we all know what that means…"

"Shut up!"

"You're nothing like him, Olivia," Elliot whispered in her ear. "Don't let him get to you."

"That's your greatest fear, isn't it, Olivia?" Hollister asked. "The blood of a rapist running through your veins."

"Simon told me you were dead," Olivia stated.

"Oh you've found your brother have you?"

"How did you manage to make that poor woman marry you?"

"She loved me, just like I loved her."

"Is a rapist capable of love?"

"We're human, aren't we?"

"So you admit to it then?"

"Not without a lawyer present."

"This isn't an investigation. Your name came up in our case the other day and when we background checked you, your real name came up. I only know your name because of Simon. I've been looking for answers for a long time. So cut this cryptic crap and explain to me what the hell happened!"

Hollister stared at them. Elliot was still gripping Olivia's wrist. Her eyes were full of fury. Hollister sighed and motioned for them to follow him into the living room.

"What do you want to know?" he asked.

"Let's start with the basics. Did you force my mother, Serena Benson, to have sex with you?"

"Yeah, I raped her."

"Did you ever rape anyone else?"

"It was a bad time in my life okay? It wasn't until I met Simon's mother that I found peace. But I swear I haven't raped anyone since those days."

"We'll be keeping in touch about that," Elliot added.

"So what happened to this perfect relationship of yours?" Olivia asked.

"After Simon was born, she fell out of love with me and pushed for a divorce. I felt lost again, like I had before I met her. I didn't want to become that person again. So I faked my death and changed my name so I could become a whole new person."

"How did you find out about me?"

"Well I still had to go to Serena's school and I noticed she was pregnant one day. I asked around and when no father came up, I knew it had to be mine. Every time I found something with the last name Benson on it, I kept it. I knew your mother would never want me in your life, so I just… I always wanted a daughter."

Hollister put his hand on Olivia's knee.

"I bet," Elliot muttered under his breath.

Olivia jumped up and glared at both of them.

"Don't touch me," she told Hollister. "My childhood was hell because of what you did to her. You ruined my life."

"Baby, I gave you life."

Olivia could feel her blood starting to boil.

"You turned my mother into an abusive alcoholic! Her friends said she was a different person after it happened. She hated me, _hated_. Why…"

"You wouldn't exist of I hadn't raped her Olivia, and you know it."

Elliot stood up and put a hand on Olivia's shoulder.

"Maybe we should go," he whispered.

"No. I'm not done yet," Olivia whispered back.

"Maybe you should be."

"Don't tell me what to do, Elliot!"

She turned back to Hollister.

"So what do you want me to do? Thank you for raping her? Thank you for making her life hell?"

"Not exactly…"

"Then what?"

He stepped closer to her and twirled a single curl around his finger. Elliot pulled her away from him.

"Keep your hands off of her," Elliot growled.

"I'm her father. I have rights."

"Not like that you don't. And you can hardly consider yourself to be her father. All you did was forcefully donate some sperm."

"Did you ever abuse your son like that?" Olivia asked, quietly.

"That's disgusting. He's my _son_."

"So what exactly did you have in mind just then, when you grabbed my hair like that?"

"You look like your mother…"

"Come on Olivia, we're leaving," Elliot instructed.

"But Elliot -."

"I'm not going to let that man hurt you. If you want a dad so badly, take mine."

"He's dead."

"Exactly."

Elliot started to pull Olivia to the door, but she shook off his grip on her. She looked at Hollister.

"You're a sick bastard," she told him. "My squad will be keeping in touch, because right now, all evidence points to you."

With that, she grabbed Elliot's arm, pulled him outside, and slammed the door behind her.

"What evidence?" Elliot asked.

Olivia shrugged.

"Are you okay?"

"Do I look okay?"

"Okay so it was a stupid question."

"Was he seriously considering the concept of incest back there?"

"I don't -."

"And all those comments about me having rapist blood? We've encountered what, one case with a female rapist?"

"Well there was three of them but -."

"How could you let me go in there?"

"Oh, so this is all my fault now, I see."

"Elliot!"

"Liv, I don't want to say I told you so, but I'm going to anyway. I told you talking to him would only cause trouble."

"Screw you!"

Olivia ripped open the car door, got inside, and slammed it shut. Elliot went around to the other side of the car and got in.

"Why are you mad me?" he asked.

"I'm not," Olivia said softly.

"Well, you're sure as hell acting like it."

"I'm mad at myself."

"For what?"

"For believing he'd be a decent guy who just made some mistakes in his life. His marriage probably ended because his wife found out he was raping women again."

Elliot put a hand on her shoulder to comfort her.

"It just… it makes me feel so dirty," Olivia confessed.

"Why?"

"Because that man, that bastard, his genes are a part of me, a whole half actually. We share the same DNA…"

"That doesn't make you a bad person."

"Doesn't it? A couple weeks ago, with Thatcher, I was kicking him and I wanted him dead."

"You were upset."

"I wanted him to _die_, Elliot. I've never felt that way about anyone before, but I'd been trying to gain information about my dad and…"

"You were upset," Elliot repeated.

"You don't get it. If Cragen hadn't been there watching, if no one had been paying attention, I would have beaten Thatcher to _death_."

"I've been there, Liv. Trust me. I have an anger management problem remember? It doesn't make me a bad person, just hard to work with."

"You're not hard to work with."

"Well, that's what you think."

"It's the truth."

"Then…never mind."

"Then what?"

"Never mind."

"Then why do I keep leaving you?"

Elliot looked Olivia in the eyes. They were full of tears. He nodded and she sighed.

"You've got to understand that Oregon had nothing to do with you, El."

"But?"

"You flat out told me we couldn't be partners anymore. You said we had become too close. So I took the initiative, and asked for a partner change. I didn't want to leave you."

"Then why did you?"

"Because you told me to."

"So what was Oregon?"

"An opportunity."

"And Porter?"

"And Dani?"

"Touché."

"See? This is why we don't talk anymore."

"Something happened with Porter, didn't it?"

"No! Nothing happened with Porter. He bugged the crap out of me. We weren't in sync together. He wasn't _you_. And I get the feeling that wasn't the case with Dani."

"Dani was…"

"You called that Danielle victim, the dancer, Dani right in front of me. When I came back, I went to see you. I was excited about seeing you after all that time apart, after leaving things like I had. Dani was sitting at my desk when I walked in. She claimed to be your partner. I went into Cragen's office and you came in. The two of you looked very happy together."

"I didn't think you were coming back," Elliot said, softly.

"You really think I would just leave you like that? Without a word? Without a goodbye?"

"You _did_ leave without saying anything. No one knew where you were."

"I tried to, Elliot. I wanted to let you know what was going on, but Star told me it would compromise my cover. I couldn't risk it."

"Dani -."

"I don't want to talk about her anymore."

"I kissed her."

Olivia's eyes widened and she turned away. She stared out the window, refusing to look at him. Silence engulfed the car as a cloud covered the sun, darkening sky.

"Liv, I -."

"Just take me home, Elliot. I'm done here."

AN: Peace. Love. Review. :)


	8. On My Side

**AN: Reviewers/Readers, you are my favorite people in the world. Seriously thank you. You motivate me to update this. Enjoy!**

She didn't know why she felt like this. Felt like she had when her boyfriend slept with her best friend back in high school. Elliot didn't belong to her. He was free to kiss anyone he wanted. So why then did she feel the need to curl up in a blanket in the corner and cry silently, like the snow falling outside?

Her computer dinged, signaling that she had a new message. It was probably from Elliot. Match Elliot. She didn't want to talk to him right now. But it dinged again, and again. Finally she got up and brought her laptop into her corner.

KoQ: It's snowing!

KoQ: Are you there?

KoQ: What's wrong, Liv?

Olivia wiped at her eyes before replying.

Liv: I'm in love with my partner.

KoQ: What?

Liv: There was this temporary partner he had when I was doing undercover work in Oregon. He kissed her. She was blonde, like his wife. He must be into blondes. Which cancels me out because I'm a brunette.

KoQ: You're in love with him?

Liv: I didn't know I was until I found out that he kissed her. You were right.

KoQ: And here I was only kidding.

Liv: No you weren't.

KoQ: I wasn't?

Liv: No.

KoQ: I'm really sorry he did that to you.

Liv: He's a jerk. I hate him.

KoQ: I thought you loved him.

Liv: Try to keep up.

KoQ: Oh sorry, I didn't realize you were PMSing right now.

Liv: I'm not.

KoQ: Oh, so you're pregnant?

Liv: And you're an asshole.

KoQ: Sorry, just trying to lighten the mood.

Liv: I know and I'm sorry. It just…hurts.

KoQ: I bet it does. Is there anything I can do?

Liv: Not really.

KoQ: You sure? Do you want me to beat him up for you?

Liv: That'd be great.

KoQ: All right, first thing tomorrow, he's going down.

Liv: Ha. Thank you.

KoQ: No prob. So whatever happened to this slut partner of his?

Liv: She couldn't handle the job.

KoQ: Not as strong as you are huh?

Liv: Not even close.

KoQ: At least he only kissed her right?

Liv: As opposed to sleeping with her? Yeah that would have really hurt. Especially after…

KoQ: After what?

Liv: You and your stupid comments.

KoQ: I'm sorry, what did I do now?

Liv: You told me I would start having hot dreams about him now. Well I did… last night.

KoQ: haha wow. Details?

Liv: Do you want the hard core porn version or the spark notes?

KoQ: Was it that juicy?

Liv: It was…he was…when I woke up I could still feel his lips on mine. The dream just felt so real…

KoQ: Was he any good?

Liv: He was amazing.

KoQ: And you didn't think you were in love with him after you had this dream because…

Liv: I figured it was just a _dream_ that _you_ planted in my head.

KoQ: Is the slut gone for good?

Liv: Yeah…

KoQ: Then why are you stressing? You're in, she's out. He can take you up against a wall any time he wants.

Liv: It's more complicated than that.

KoQ: Why? You love him, he loves you, get together and do some love making!

Liv: I don't know if he has feelings for me like that.

KoQ: Ask him.

Liv: No.

KoQ: I think yes.

Liv: You don't understand…

KoQ: What happened to you fully believing in sexual tension?

Liv: -

KoQ: How are you gong to know unless you ask?

Liv: Elliot and I have been through a lot together. We're best friends who just started talking to each other again. Starting something now or ever… it just wouldn't work. What about you and your partner?

KoQ: What about us?

Liv: You want to send her the wrong message at Christmas. Remember?

KoQ: Those were your words, not mine.

Liv: You've been dreaming, haven't you?

KoQ: About her?

Liv: Yup.

KoQ: I haven't.

Liv: You're lying.

KoQ: Why would I lie about that?

Liv: Because you're embarrassed.

KoQ: I wouldn't be after listening to your confession…

Liv: Oh whatever. Good night, Elliot.

KoQ: Good night, Olivia.

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

He hadn't slept. Couldn't actually. Not with the images she'd put in his head. Not with the pain he'd caused her. One minute she had him feeling like a total dick and the next she had him aroused. He knew if he closed his eyes he would see the two of them against a wall doing "amazing" things. He wanted to know what it was like to feel her lips on his, but refused to admit it. Olivia was right, starting something between them was a bad idea. It just wouldn't end well. But what if it never ended at all?

Elliot ran a hand over his face. He looked up and saw Olivia walking in. She looked at him, but then rolled her eyes and looked away. Pain was etched into her beautiful features.

Why did he tell her about Dani? Why did it matter? Why did his life suddenly feel like the plot of some high school drama?

"Olivia," Elliot started as she sat down across from him.

"Save it, El."

"Please, just…listen."

"You have 20 seconds. Go."

"I never meant to hurt you. I guess I wasn't expecting that it would. But then if something would've happened with Porter, I would have been hurt… Anyway I don't want this to get in the middle of us. We just started talking again and it was so great. That night at Maloney's made me feel like I haven't felt in a long time and…"

"Time's up," Olivia said, walking away.

"That wasn't 20 seconds."

"Do I look like a human stop watch to you?"

Elliot grabbed her shoulder and spun her around to face him.

"Don't walk away from me," Elliot told her.

"Don't tell me what to do!" Olivia spat.

"This was just hand delivered to my office" Cragen announced.

He held up a gold locket with a note attached to it.

"Serena used to have a locket like that," Olivia whispered.

"What's the note say?" Fin asked.

"Do you pricks believe me now? You have 24 hours before she's dead," Cragen read.

"Well this isn't good," Munch quipped.

"Is there a picture inside the locket?" Olivia asked.

Cragen opened it.

"There's some girl and someone who I believe to be Ashley Brigford. Someone get Mrs. Brigford on the phone to see if she can identify this girl. Maybe _she_ could help us find Ashley," Cragen stated.

"What about our college girl, Rebecca?" Elliot asked.

Cragen looked to Munch and Fin.

"Have either of you followed up on Hollister?" Cragen asked.

"Dead end," Fin replied.

Elliot instantly felt Olivia relax next to him.

"We'll get back to her after we find Ashley," Cragen started. "Nobody wants _her_ dead."

"That we know of," Munch mumbled, picking up the phone.

"You just had to add that! You…"

"Elliot," Olivia cut him off. "Now isn't the time."

She's talking to him. That's a good sign, isn't it?

"Mom says the other girl in the locket is her older sister. Left for Hudson last year," Munch called over his shoulder.

"Well let's go pay her a visit," Elliot suggested.

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

"Her sister's name is Mary-Kate? How much did their parents love Full House?" Olivia asked, after arriving at the university.

"Too much," Elliot mumbled. "Listen Liv, are we okay?"

"Far from it."

Olivia walked up to Mary-Kate's sorority house and just when she was about to knock on the door, Elliot grabbed her wrist.

"Will you just talk to me?" Elliot demanded.

"There's nothing to talk about."

With that Olivia ripped her wrist from Elliot's grip and knocked on the door.

"You have no right to be mad at me for that, Olivia," Elliot said.

"And you don't have the right to tell me what I can and can't do."

The door opened to reveal a tall blonde. Elliot flashed his badge.

"We're looking for Mary-Kate Brigford," he stated.

"She's supposed to be home any minute if you want to wait," the girl said.

Elliot looked at Olivia. She shrugged.

"We'll wait," he told the girl.

She led them into the sorority's sitting room.

"We'll send her in when she gets home," the girl said before leaving.

Olivia stared out the window mindlessly twisting her "fearlessness" necklace around her finger. He didn't know what to say to her.

"Why did you kiss her?" Olivia asked, softly.

"Heat of the moment."

"I hear you're looking for me."

Elliot and Olivia turned to the voice. It was undoubtedly the other girl from the locket.

"Are you Mary-Kate Brigford?" Elliot asked.

"That's what it says on my birth certificate. What can I do for you?"

"Have you talked to your parents at all this week?" Olivia asked.

"Can't say that I have. Why? Did something happen to them?"

"To your sister actually, Ashley. Do you recognize this?" Olivia held up the locket.

"Ashley's locket!" Mary-Kate exclaimed. "I gave that to her when I left for college. Why do you have it?"

"I take it you two were close," Elliot mused.

"_Are_ close," Mary-Kate corrected. "What happened to my sister?"

"Have you heard from her recently?" Olivia asked.

"No! Why won't you tell me what's going on?"

Elliot and Olivia looked at each other. He was glad that despite their personal fighting, they were still in sync as partners.

"Your sister has been kidnapped. If you know anything, anything at all, that could help us find her, you need to tell us," Olivia stated.

"Like what?" Mary-Kate asked.

"Was she dating anyone?" Elliot asked.

"Her one and only boyfriend broke up with her last month."

"Do you remember his name?" Olivia asked.

"Jack Nelson."

Olivia handed Mary-Kate her card.

"If you think of anything else or if you happen to hear from her, give us a call," Olivia instructed.

The girl nodded and wiped at her newly fallen tears. The detectives bid their goodbyes and headed back out into the bitter December air.

"Have you gotten your Secret Santa gift yet?" Elliot asked.

He had to get her to say _something_ to him.

"Didn't we agree to call it a 'holiday gift exchange amongst co-workers' or something?"

"Well whatever it's called…"

"I haven't, no," Olivia said, looking at the ground. "Have you?"

She looked at him, when she asked that. Elliot was relieved to feel her eyes on him again.

"Nope. Not yet," he replied.

She nodded and focused back on the ground. They got back into the car without saying another word. Elliot called Munch to get an address for Jack Nelson. They started driving.

"Why does it bother you so much?" Elliot asked.

Olivia just shook her head and continued to stare out the window.

"Liv…"

"I don't want to talk about, El!" Olivia snapped.

"I just want to know why…"

"What do _you_ think?"

"I don't know what to think."

After that, neither of them spoke.

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

He needed a break. All the people they'd questioned today were not helpful in the slightest. Ashley was still missing and Rebecca's case with Olivia's father had been put on hold. He was tired of the dead ends and he just needed to talk to her. And he knew the only way that she would talk to him was if he was King_of_Queens. Elliot decided to give it a shot; maybe she needed an escape now too.

El: Liv?

L3: I was hoping you'd be on.

Okay this was weird. They were sitting directly across from each other. Olivia having no idea they were having this conversation.

El: How's work?

L3: Miserable. This girl has less than 24 hours to live and we have no idea where to find her. She's going to die and there's nothing we can do to save her.

El: There has to be something…

L3: Well we're fresh out of ideas, so feel free to pitch in.

Elliot looked over at her. She had buried her head in her hands. She hated cases like this; they all did.

El: I'm sorry.

L3: Thanks.

El: Are things with your partner any better?

He saw her shake her head out of the corner of his eye.

L3: He actually asked me why it was bothering me.

El: And that's a problem?

L3: Yes!

El: What? Do you just expect him to _know_ you're in love with him?

L3: Well no, but…

El: But if he was going to kiss his partner, it should have been you; the one he's known for years and not some blonde bimbo replacement.

L3: I guess it's safe to say you understand me. Unlike some people…

El: I'm sure he means well, Liv.

L3: How can you defend him?

Elliot sighed. Not even as his "alter ego" could he get her forgiveness.

El: I'm a guy after all.

He heard her laugh. It was quiet and barely noticeable, but he heard it.

L3: I hate men.

El: Impossible!

She laughed again. Cragen came out of his office.

"We've got a location!" he announced.

L3: I have to go, but I'll try to get on tonight.

He decided he "didn't have to go" to stab off any lingering suspicions.

El: All right. Hope to talk to you tonight.

*Liv. Love. Laugh. has logged off.*

"How do you have a location?" Elliot asked.

"We got a call from someone who was on the subway the day Ashley was taken. Claims she heard about this on the news and recognized him," Cragen explained. "Let's move people!"

**AN: Dun Dun Dun Cliffhanger! ****Sort of. But not really. Haha Send me your love! **


	9. Feel It Now

AN: Hokay so, here's what's up. My summer is almost over. All this week I have dance and next I really NEED to finish my summer projects. Stupid AP classes. At the end of this update, I'll be on pg. 82 of 100. I'll try to finish as my schedule allows. Enjoy!

An adrenaline rush overwhelmed her as they arrived at the house. They might be able to actually save this girl.

"Liv, let's go around back," Elliot suggested.

She followed him to the back of the house. Elliot tried the back door, it was unlocked. Guns raised, they entered the house. They heard screaming and went to the noise: a locked door they assumed led to the basement. Olivia withdrew a bobby pin from her hair.

"Know how to pick a lock?" she asked.

Elliot smirked and took the pin from her. He picked the lock and slowly opened the door. The screaming had stopped.

"After you," Olivia told him.

They slowly ascended the stairs.

"It's too dark," Elliot whispered.

He heard a stifled scream come from behind him. His breath caught in his throat as he heard the sound of a gun hitting the floor. Olivia.

Elliot turned around and saw a figure coming out of the shadows, holding a gun to his partner's head. She had been startled and had dropped her weapon. Elliot raised his gun on the figure. Then he felt something hit him in the back of the head and everything went black.

"Way to go! You just knocked out a cop," the man behind Olivia congratulated.

She recognized his voice instantly.

"I thought he was you," a weak female voice said from the corner.

"When will you learn to stop fighting it?" the man asked.

"Ashley?" Olivia wanted to know.

"Shut up, bitch!" the man scolded, pushing her down.

Olivia felt herself land on something soft. A mattress?

"Who's that?" Ashley asked. "How does she know my name?"

"A new victim," the man growled.

Olivia stopped breathing as panic filled her throat. Her head was screaming at her to get up, to go get her gun from the floor, but her body wasn't listening. She was frozen in place. She silently begged Elliot to wake up, but he was out cold.

The man came closer to her and she backed up against the wall. _Run!_ her head screamed. He touched her shoulder. Where the hell was the backup? She and Elliot hadn't come here alone.

The closer he got, the more she froze up. When his hand grazed her chest, she regained control of her legs and kicked him. _Run!_ She pushed herself up and went to go help Ashley. The girl started thrashing to get away from her.

"It's okay," Olivia whispered. "My name is Detective Olivia Benson."

"Detective?" Ashley whispered back.

"Yes," Olivia nodded.

"Look out!"

"What?"

The man had recovered from his kick. He dragged Olivia away from Ashley. His grip was strong and, try as she might, she couldn't get out of it. He handcuffed her around a pole. Hot tears burned the back of her eyes.

"Elliot!" she screamed. "Elliot, wake up God dammit!"

The man laughed in her face.

"He can't hear you," he laughed. "So where should we start?"

He trailed a finger across her chin and down her neck. Olivia frantically squirmed to get away from him, the handcuffs cutting into her wrists. He leaned into her. He was going to try to kiss her, she was sure. His lips just barely brushed hers, when he went barreling into the wall. Elliot!

The man staggered to get up, but Elliot hit him again. He curled up in pain as Elliot started kicking him. Olivia had a flashback to Thatcher. It was just like that, only worse. Thatcher actually hadn't done anything to her or to Elliot. This guy had…

"Elliot stop!"

He didn't. Olivia was sure he wasn't going to stop until he killed the man.

"Elliot!"

His head snapped up. He looked to her.

"A little help?"

He turned back to the man. _What was he doing?_ Elliot kicked him a couple more times. A key fell out of the man's pocket. The key to the handcuffs. Elliot came and unlocked her.

"You're bleeding," Elliot said, stating the obvious.

She had squirmed so much that the handcuffs had cut into her skin and caused her to bleed.

"Did he hurt you?" he asked.

Olivia shook her head. "He never had the chance."

Elliot nodded, his eyes locked on hers. The rest of the squad finally came in.

"It's about time," Olivia mumbled.

"We were getting worried," Cragen said.

Olivia wanted to laugh. She had almost been raped. Elliot had almost killed a man. All while they were out there waiting and worrying.

"The bastard's on the floor. Ashley's back in the corner," Elliot explained, helping Olivia stand up.

"Where are you two going?" Cragen wanted to know.

Elliot turned on the lights so they could see Olivia's wrists. "To get her help."

EEEEEEEEEEEOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

There was an ambulance outside, ready to take Ashley to the hospital. The medic wrapped Olivia's wrists with gauze strips. He gave her more and told her how often to change the dressing. She was sitting on the porch now, with Elliot next to her.

"What do you think he was going to do to me?" Olivia asked softly.

"How can you even ask that?"

She bit her bottom lip and looked down at her wrists. Elliot took off his gray hoodie and gave it to her. She put it on, inhaling his scent. The squad walked out of the house with Ashley and the pervert in tow. Munch and Fin asked Elliot and Olivia if they wanted to go with Ashley to the hospital. Elliot told them to go ahead. As Cragen guided the man into his squad car, Olivia told him they'd meet him back at the station.

She had so much going on in her head right now. She just needed to get out of it. As they watched everyone drive away, Olivia rested her head on Elliot's shoulder. He wrapped his arm around her back. They sat like that for a while. Without saying a word, they sat on the criminal's porch, watching the sunset and neglecting the job they both knew they should be doing.

EEEEEEEEEEEOOOOOOOOOOOOO

El: Liv, you there?

L3: Yeah…

El: Something wrong?

L3: You can tell something's wrong by the response 'yeah'?

El: It was the … that tipped me off.

Actually he _knew_ something was wrong; he had been there.

L3: I just… I just…

El: It's okay. You don't have to talk about it if you don't want to.

L3: Maybe later…

El: That's fine. So Christmas is next week. Found a gift yet?

L3: No, but I think I have an idea.

El: What is it?

L3: I could tell you, but then I'd have to kill you.

El: That top secret, huh?

L3: You might steal the idea for yourself.

El: Why would I do a thing like that?

L3: Because it's amazing. What're you getting your partner?

El: I still don't know yet.

L3: El, you have like a week.

El: I know. She's a complicated woman. I've been having trouble reading her lately.

L3: Is she normally on open book?

El: No, not really.

L3: Then…

El: Some stuff has happened lately and I just…

L3: Good stuff?

El: No.

L3: Well what happened?

El: It's complicated.

L3: Elliot, I've been pouring my soul out to you on here. I've admitted things to you, I've never even admitted to myself. So why can't you tell me about _your _partner?

_Because you'll know it's you_, Elliot thought. _And I'm not ready to give this up yet. To give you up._

El: She just has a lot of crap in her life.

L3: Like what?

_She was almost raped today. _You _were almost raped today._

El: Liv… I can't. They're her secrets, not mine.

He prayed this would work. Hoped it would move the conversation back on her. He needed a Christmas present for her, and he was hoping she would drop some hints.

L3: Fine. Consider it dropped.

El: So, if you could have anything, anything at all, for Christmas, what would you want?

L3: Oh you know the small things, world peace…

El: You'd be out of a job if that happened.

L3: Haha. Okay good point. But if anything was possible, I'd want more time with my mother. We were just starting to get along when she…

El: Why didn't you get along?

L3: I'm the product of her rape. She looked at me and she saw _him. _She used to neglect me when I was little. She'd take me somewhere and forget about me. I started taking the bus because she couldn't remember to pick me up from school. After I left for college, she seemed to come to her senses. Maybe it's because she didn't have to look at me 24/7.

El: I'm sure it's not like that.

L3: I'm sure it is. Did I mention she was a drunk?

He didn't know. He knew because he knew _her_. But he couldn't for the life of him remember if she'd told him on here.

El: You might have.

L3: Hmm… well anyway, a recent case reminded me of this; my mother had this locket that she always used to wear. She said it was a family heirloom.

El: Do you have it now?

L3: No. I have no idea what happened to it. One day it was just gone. Maybe she pawned it so she could buy more alcohol. I really wish I knew what happened to it.

There it was. Finding that locket would be the perfect gift. Elliot thought about the picture of Olivia and her mother that was sitting on her desk. He hoped she was wearing the locket in the picture.

El: What does it look like?

L3: Well it's gold. The locket is a heart. There's some intricate swirls on the front. The pictures inside are of my, a lot of greats, grandparents. "To my love" is inscribed on the back.

Perfect.

El: Sounds like they really loved each other.

L3: Yeah. It does.

El: Do you think you'll ever find someone like that?

L3: I want to. I want to believe that there's some guy out there who'll love me like that, but I'm afraid it'll never happen.

El: What do you mean?

L3: My job is my life. You have no idea how demanding being a detective is. I never have time to date and when I do, I usually get called into the job and have to leave before it's over. My partner's marriage was ruined partly because of the job. He was never home, he never talked to his wife about work. I want to fall in love with that perfect guy, but I'm starting to believe it's never going to happen.

Elliot was speechless, or typeless as the case may be. Why was she bringing him into this? He found it almost ironic that she was preaching about the demands of the job, when he knew them damn well. And this perfect guy crap? He thought that whole fantasy got thrown out on a girl's first date. No man acts how women want them to. But she really did believe in love, despite her fear that she'd never experience it. Suddenly, he wanted it too. He wanted to _really _love someone – something deeper than what he had with Kathy. He wanted to love Olivia; wanted to be her "perfect guy."

El: You know my ex-wife and I, we loved each other, but it wasn't enough. I don't think I can say I've experienced "perfect love" either.

L3: I'm sorry to hear that.

El: Don't be. The divorce has given me a second chance to find it.

L3: Maybe she's closer than you think.

El: Maybe _he's_ closer than you think.

L3: Hmm… maybe. I'll talk to you tomorrow, El.

El: Sounds good. Night Liv.

L3: Good night, El.

EEEEEEEEEOOOOOOOO

It was Saturday. Cragen had ordered her to take the weekend off. They were just working on the case her dad had become involved in again, anyway. The case she wasn't allowed to work on. There was no point for her to be at the office. She'd be stuck with paperwork. But at home, she was stuck with her thoughts. Stuck with the images of what happened in that basement. Images of what would have happened if Elliot hadn't regained consciousness.

Olivia needed to get out of her head. She had to think about something else. She let her mind wander to Elliot. Of how they had sat on that man's porch for hours not saying a word. She thought about how right it felt to be next to him, wrapped in his arms. She didn't know why she suddenly felt this way about him, but she did.

There was a knock on her door. Olivia tried to ignore it, but whoever was there was very persistent. She groaned and moved to open the door. Elliot stood there holding a box of doughnuts.

"Elliot. What are you doing here?" Olivia asked.

"What's the point of me going to work if you're not there?"

"You've done it before."

"That was then," Elliot said, brushing past her into her apartment. "This is now."

He moved over to the coffee table where he placed the doughnuts, before sitting on her couch.

"You're still wearing my sweatshirt I see," Elliot mused.

Olivia was still standing in the doorway.

"Come on in. Take a load off," he joked.

She didn't say anything or make any effort to move from her place.

"Liv?"

"You shouldn't be here," she said softly.

"Now is that any way to talk to your guest?"

"You _really_ shouldn't be here."

"And why not?"

Olivia just looked at the ground and pulled her sleeves further over her wrists. Elliot got up from the couch and went over to her.

"Olivia, I know you're not my biggest fan right now, but I also know that you're scared. What happened yesterday…"

"Was nothing."

Elliot grabbed her wrist, drawing a squeak from pain from her lips.

"_This_ isn't nothing," Elliot pointed out.

"It's not like I was raped, Elliot! I was handcuffed and that's it. Nothing happened!"

"But it was going to."

"And it didn't. El, yesterday you told me not to talk about 'what could've happened.' Now here you are telling me that something _could've_ happened. Why are you doing this to me?"

"Well, I…"

"Just leave."

"No! Olivia I _know_ you. You just want me to leave so you don't have to deal with your pain."

"Clearly, you don't know me at all."

"I know why me kissing Dani hurt you so much."

Olivia felt like she'd just been slapped. He really needed to drop that particular topic. Either that or go back in time and stop it from happening.

"This isn't about that, Elliot and you know it."

"Oh I think it is. You don't want me here because you're still pissed about something that happened months ago."

"Excuse me, but I only found out about it like three days ago."

"My personal life is none of your business, Liv."

"Yeah, I know. You're the one who keeps dwelling on it."

"You're the one who keeps holding it against me!"

"I am not!"

"You are too!"

"Elliot, what you do with your body in your free time means absolutely nothing to me."

"I didn't sleep with her, Liv."

"I know that!"

Tears burned the back of her eyes. He needed to leave, now.

"It does matter to you, Olivia. I can see it in your eyes."

Elliot went and picked a doughnut from the box and then headed back to the door.

"Let me know when you've learned how to listen to your heart," he spat.

He started to leave.

"Elliot…"

He turned around and stared at her. She didn't know what to say, and even if she did, she wouldn't know how to put it. Elliot put the doughnut down on the table by the door and stepped closer to her. Their eyes were locked on each other.

He took another step toward her, tangling his hand in her hair and drawing her mouth to his. His kiss was hot, controlling, demanding. He bit at her lips, trying to get her to open her mouth to him. When she didn't, he bit harder. She slowly parted her lips for him and he took to exploring her mouth. Their tongues tangled together.

Reluctantly, Elliot pulled away from the kiss. Her eyes were watering again and he feared that he'd hurt her. Without a word he grabbed his doughnut again and left.

Olivia was stunned. She glanced at her reflection in the mirror by the door. Her hair was a mess and her lips were swollen. How could he just leave after all of that? _Why_ did he leave? Had she scared him off? A million questions swam around in her head. He had kissed her. Elliot Stabler had full out kissed her. Her partner's mouth had been on hers. Her best friend's tongue had been tangled with hers. She couldn't comprehend this. Where did this leave them now?

AN: Watching SVU marathon while typing this. The dramatic music really adds to the dramatic scene. Haha It was perfect. Send me your love!


	10. May It Be

**AN: Second to last chapter guys. Sad that it's coming to an end. You've all been soooo amazing. But this isn't the end quite yet, so I'll save my goodbyes. Haha. Enjoy!**

L3: He kissed me.

El: Who did?

L3: Who do you think?

El: Your partner?

L3: Duh.

El: Did he now?

L3: Yes. This has been established.

El: And how was it?

L3: I can't describe it.

El: Try.

L3: Why do you enjoy dirty details so much?

El: I'm a guy. What else do you expect? So, was there tongue?

L3: If you must know, than yes. There was.

El: I told you so.

L3: Told me 'so' what?

El: That he's in love with you.

L3: You can tell that because he "tongue-kissed" me?

El: I do believe the technical name for it is "French kiss."

L3: What is this? 9th grade?

El: Might as well be.

L3: *eye roll*

El: haha. So what does this mean for the two of you?

L3: I really don't know. I mean it was just a kiss. The same thing that happened with Dani and nothing happened beyond that.

El: Well, what happened before he kissed you?

L3: We were fighting. He basically told me he knew I had feelings for him. He started to leave, but I stopped him. He turned around, looked into my eyes, tangled his hands in my hair, and kissed me. It was deep, passionate, hot.

Elliot smirked at the memory of it. She had tasted sweet, like she'd recently eaten chocolate. He wanted to kiss her again. He wanted to do more than kiss her…

El: I think he wants it to go somewhere.

L3: Did I mention that he upped and left without a word after he kissed me?

El: Ok, so the guy's a jerk. That doesn't mean he's not in love with you.

L3: It doesn't mean he _is_ either.

El: Okay so pretend I'm your partner. You show up at work on Monday and I'm there. I'm avoiding you because I thought I may have hurt you. What do you do?

L3: Well if you're avoiding me, I'd assume it was because of the kiss, but assume it was a bad thing. I'd avoid you too.

El: And what does that accomplish?

L3: More of the ever-growing tension that is our partnership…

El: Is it sexual?

L3: Partially, I'm sure.

He wanted her. Maybe even needed her. He pictured what her face would look like as he pushed into her…

L3: You still there?

El: Oh yeah. Sorry.

L3: El, what am I supposed to do about…El?

El: Talk to him. I've told you this like a million times before. Tell him how you feel.

L3: We haven't talked a hundred times before let alone a million.

El: You know what I mean.

L3: What if the feeling isn't mutual?

El: Trust me on this one, Liv. It is. _He_ kissed _you_ didn't he?

_I really do have feelings for you, Olivia. You're all I have left. I need you._

L3: I'll tell him at the Christmas party on Wednesday.

El: Oh dang, that is Christmas Eve!

L3: It is. Find a gift yet?

El: I'm working on it. You?

L3: Same.

El: Just talk to him, Liv. It'll be worth it.

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

She walked into the precinct on Monday morning. There he was, sitting at his desk. He didn't look up when she walked in or when she sat down across from him.

"El?"

"Olivia," he said without looking up.

"What did I do now?"

He looked up at her with red eyes. Had he been crying?

"What's wrong?" she asked.

"Nothing," he muttered, looking back down at his desk.

"Liv, your dad's been cleared again," Cragen told her. "You're back on the case."

Olivia nodded and Cragen headed back into his office.

"You're still wearing my sweatshirt," Elliot mumbled.

"There are still scars on my wrists."

"Don't you have your own long-sleeved clothing?"

"Why are you such a jackass?"

Olivia turned to leave and nearly ran over Casey in the process.

"Where's the fire?" Casey joked.

Olivia groaned and shoved passed her. Casey went after her.

"Did I miss something?" Casey asked.

"Something? Where've you been?"

"Florida actually. Visiting family, remember?"

"Oh. Right."

"Liv…"

Olivia pulled up the sleeves of Elliot's sweatshirt. The gauze was gone and thick, ugly scars remained on her wrists.

"I was almost raped and Elliot kissed me."

Casey just stood there staring at Olivia's wrists.

"What?" Casey asked.

"You really want to make me say it again?"

"How close did he get?"

"Elliot or the bastard?"

"The bastard."

"He handcuffed me to a pole and tried to kiss me. That was as far as he got because Elliot woke up from being knocked out."

"Oh, Liv. I'm so sorry," Casey said, taking her hand.

Olivia rolled her sleeves back down.

"Elliot kissed me yesterday while we were fighting. Then he just left and started acting like a jackass this morning. I just don't know what to do about him anymore…"

"How's your Match Elliot doing?"

"Amazing. He's such a nice guy…"

"So ask him out, already."

"I can't."

"Why not?"

"Because I think I'm in love with _my_ Elliot."

"But you just said…"

"I know, it's just… he's just…"

"Just what?"

It wasn't Casey who had asked that question. It was a man. It was Elliot. All of the color drained from Olivia's face.

"How long have you been standing there?" Olivia asked.

"Since Casey told you to ask someone out," Elliot replied.

She was going to be sick. He heard her say it, admit it. Heard her say she had feelings for him.

"I'm going to go," Casey said, shying away from them.

"No, Casey…" Olivia tried to stop her, but she was already gone.

She turned back to Elliot. He had a cocky grin on his face.

"Say something," Olivia begged. "Anything."

"Hello."

"Elliot…"

"You said say anything."

"Well 'hello' was not what I meant. I should go."

"Where? You can't avoid me, Liv. We're partners; our desks are right across from each others."

Olivia clenched her jaw and stared back at him.

"What's your problem?" she asked.

"What's yours?"

"Okay team listen up," Cragen interrupted. "Ashley's trial is this afternoon. Is she ready Casey?"

"Ready as a girl in her condition can be," Casey replied.

Cragen continued. "We showed Rebecca a picture collage to try and help her pick out a suspect. She found one. Munch and Fin went to pay the man a little visit."

"Who is he?" Elliot wanted to know.

"Some guy on the cleaning staff. Oh and just a reminder, Wednesday is our office holiday party. Only two more days to get your person a gift!"

"At least _someone's_ in a good mood," Olivia mumbled.

"Haven't you noticed that he always gets this way around this time of year?" Elliot asked.

_Have a holly, jolly Christmas. It's the best time of the year._ The music rang out from Cragen's office, accompanied by his whistling. Suppressed chuckles from the throughout the bullpen added to the noise.

"Find a gift yet?" Elliot asked.

"I already told you that I had an idea," Olivia responded.

"No, you didn't."

"Yeah I did. Yest…oh."

_Shit. Wrong Elliot. _

He shot her a confused look.

"Sorry, that must have been Munch that I told."

Oh good save…

"What about you?"

"It came in this morning. My person better appreciate it too. Not the easiest item in the world to track down…"

"I'm sure they will," she smiled.

"So that's it? We're done fighting?"

"It's getting a little old, don't you think?"

"We have a lot of unresolved issues."

"We'll talk Wednesday."

"Christmas Eve, Liv? You really want to get in a huge fight then?"

"Maybe we won't fight."

"Have you met us?"

"It's the Spirit of Christmas, El. Anything can happen."

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Liv: I'm going to tell him.

KoQ: Really? I got to you didn't I?

Liv: I don't know what it was. One minute we were fighting again and then our captain said something about our cases and the Christmas party. Then he started playing Christmas music… Maybe I was just inspired, but suddenly I didn't want to fight with him anymore.

KoQ: So you were inspired by Christmas?

Liv: I really don't know.

KoQ: How do you think it'll go over?

Liv: Hard to say. He sort of overheard me talking to my friend about my feelings for him.

KoQ: Oooo… How'd that go?

Liv: He wouldn't say anything. He just sat there with this cocky grin on his face.

KoQ: Maybe he didn't know what to say.

Liv: I knew there was a reason I don't get out much.

KoQ: Because your partner's a jerk?

Liv: No, because I hate men.

KoQ: Oh, so you're a lesbian. That's hot.

Liv: Again with the 9th grade maturity…

KoQ: Oh lighten up, Liv. It's a joke. The whole point of this thing is to find somebody to talk to. At this point that includes teasing.

Liv: What are you doing on Christmas?

KoQ: I'm spending it with my ex and our kids. Why?

Liv: I was just wondering.

KoQ: Liv, do you have anyone to spend Christmas with?

Liv: Just my brother, but I don't really know him all that well and like I said before he has his girlfriend…

KoQ: What've you done since your mom died?

Liv: I don't know. Watch 24 hours of "A Christmas Story." Get caught up on paperwork.

KoQ: Really?

Liv: Yes.

KoQ: Then your partner really is a jerk.

Liv: Why do you say that?

KoQ: Has he ever invited you to spend Christmas with his family?

Liv: No…

KoQ: Does he know that you're all alone?

Liv: Yeah…

KoQ: Hence him being a jerk.

She'd never really thought about it. Even when her mother was alive, Christmas had never really been a big deal. Even when she was a little girl. They had a fake tree that fit on their dinner table. She stopped believing in Santa before she was five when Serena got drunk on Christmas Eve and never put the presents out. So why did this year suddenly have to be different?

Liv: I'm okay with it, really.

KoQ: No, you're not.

Liv: You don't even know me.

KoQ: Yes I do, Liv. I know that you can't sleep when there's a kid case. I know that you chew on your pen when you're frustrated or anxious. I know the look you get in your eyes when a case reminds you of Serena. I know _you_ Olivia. That's how I know that this is getting to you. You're _not_ okay with being alone.

Liv: Stabler? What the hell are you doing?!

KoQ: Stabler? Is that a name?

Liv: Don't play dumb with me, Elliot!

KoQ: Who's playing?

Liv: I never told you that I chew on my pens. You've "never seen me" so you can't know what my eyes look like. I can't believe that I've been so blindly stupid.

*Liv. Love. Laugh. has logged off.*

**AN: Peace. Love. Review. :)**


	11. All I Want For Christmas is You

**AN: I think I might tear up here a little guys. *sniff* Here is the much anticipated conclusion to my baby, as I lovingly call it. The ride with you all has been absolutely amazing! Thank you to those of you who have been with me since the beginning, you know who you are… Thank you also to those of you who joined me later in the game. You all motivated me to get this up fast; it's because of you this is fully posted before Christmas itself. You should all be very proud, especially Jenna. Enjoy!**

He was screwed. Royally and completely screwed. He had everything planned out perfectly. He would give her the necklace; her mother's locket. She would look up at him confused with tears in her eyes. He'd pull her towards him until their lips met. This kiss wouldn't be as abrupt as their first. It would be meaningful and passionate. And later…

He looked up. Olivia was nowhere in sight.

"Where's Liv?" he asked.

"Taking a personal day," Cragen replied.

She was avoiding him.

"Is she still coming to the party tomorrow?" Elliot inquired.

"As far as I know," Cragen answered. "Did something happen between you two?"

"You could say that."

"Is she going to be asking for a partner change?"

"God, I hope not."

"Do I _want_ to know what happened?"

"Probably not."

"Let me rephrase that. _Should_ I know what happened?"

"Don't sweat it, Cap. It's personal crap. Nothing job related."

Cragen stared at him a moment before heading into his office. _As we finally kiss goodnight. How I hate going out in the storm. But if you really hold me tight, all the way home I'll be warm._

Elliot looked out the window. How appropriate. It was snowing and Cragen had selected "Let It Snow! Let It Snow! Let It Snow!" for his listening pleasure. He turned to his computer and logged on to Match . com.

El: Olivia?

El: Please talk to me.

El: I'm a jerk and a jackass, I know it. I've been talking about myself for a while now.

*Liv. Love. Laugh. is away*

Away message: You and me. It's never going to happen. Not anymore.

El: I wasn't trying to hurt you or invade your privacy. My brother really did put me up to this. I didn't know it was you until you started talking about Simon. That's when I decided we should meet; see if I was right. When I saw you at Maloney's… I should have told you sooner, I know, but I was enjoying talking to you too much. I was learning so much. I didn't want it to end.

Away message: You and me. It's never going to happen. Not anymore.

El: I _need_ you, Olivia. Please. I've fallen in love with you. I feel like you're the only thing I have left. I know that I'm all that you have too. Don't let this get in between us, Liv. We're meant for each other, I can feel it.

Away message: You and me. It's never going to happen. Not anymore.

He felt his heart breaking. Why was she doing this to him? How could she? He _knew_ she was in love with him too. He'd heard it as himself and as King_of_Queens. His eyes started to fill with tears. Crying was something Elliot Stabler never did, but the pain was too strong. He buried his head in his hands.

"What's wrong?"

Elliot looked up. It was Casey.

"Olivia's 'match Elliot' is me. She found out and now…"

"Wait. She's been talking to _you_?"

Elliot nodded.

"No wonder she's mad at you. She told me some of the things you two talked about. She poured her heart and soul out to this guy she never thought she would actually meet. He was just someone to talk to. The fact that _you_ know her deepest darkest secrets must be killing her."

"I never meant to hurt her. I didn't know it was her at first."

Casey just shook her head.

"Do you know if she's coming to the party tomorrow?"

"I really don't know, El."

If she didn't show, he knew it was over. Their relationship, their partnership, everything. If she did show, he knew there was still hope. This year, Elliot was really praying for a Christmas miracle.

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

_Jingle bell, jingle bell, jingle bell rock. Jingle bells chime in jingle bell time. Dancin' and prancin' in jingle bell square in the frosty air!_

Everyone was there. The whole unit, Huang, Warner, Morales, Casey. Even Donnelly had shown up. Everyone was there except for Olivia.

"Any sign of her?" Casey asked.

"None," Elliot mumbled.

"She'll be here, El. She has to be or else someone will be without a present."

She wandered away to talk to Donnelly. The small box with Serena's necklace was clutched in his hands. A familiar laugh rang throughout the room. He turned to the door. Olivia. Her hair was curled and she was wearing that sexy black dress from Maloney's. In her arms was a rather large package which Cragen helped her move to the "holiday tree". She looked around the room and her eyes locked on his. She didn't wave or smile, just stared.

"I'm sorry," Elliot mouthed.

Olivia nodded and disappeared into the crowd. She reappeared at his side.

"Can we talk?" she asked.

Elliot nodded and led her out into the hall where it was quiet. They sat down on a bench.

"How long have you known that you were talking to me?" Olivia asked, quietly.

"Since you started talking about Simon."

"Why didn't you tell me that night at Maloney's?"

"I was going to, but then I fucked up and told you about Dani. I didn't want to stop talking to you again."

"You told me about her the day after that night."

"I still screwed up. I know I did, Liv. I…"

"So when I was describing the Gitano fiasco to you…"

"We never did get closure on that."

Olivia sighed. "I'm sorry I left you like that. For Oregon too."

Elliot took her hand in his and laced his fingers in between hers.

"I understand now, I do. I understand a lot now actually."

"Do you? Do you understand what's become of our relationship?"

"Is it over?"

Olivia closed her eyes and squeezed Elliot's hand. She opened her eyes and looked at him.

"Elliot I…"

She blinked and Elliot watched a tear roll down her cheek.

"I'm just… I'm confused," Olivia continued. "You really are all I have left. And I'm just so sick of dating."

"But?"

"We can't seem to get through a conversation without fighting."

"We can work on that. Give me a chance, Liv. Give us a chance."

He held the box out to her.

"As you've probably figured out by now, I drew you for Secret Santa," Elliot confessed.

"Wait here."

Olivia disappeared and came back with the large package.

"Likewise," she laughed. "Open yours first."

Elliot tore into the packaging. It was a painting of the New York skyline at night. He'd always told her it was one of his favorite scenes.

"Did you paint this?" Elliot gasped.

Olivia nodded, pointing to her initials in the bottom right-hand corner.

"Do you like it?"

"Liv, it's beautiful! I love it!"

"I told you I'd show you my work someday. Landscapes were always my favorite."

"Thank you. It means a lot, really. Your turn."

Olivia eyed the small box and cautiously opened it. She gasped and pulled out the locket. She ran her fingers over the engraving on the back.

"How did you…" Olivia started, opening it.

"It wasn't easy. I called all of the pawn shops in the area to see if any of them remembered your mom or her locket. I think maybe the 20th one did. They said that Serena was really drunk and probably just used the money to buy more alcohol. But I looked at the date on the receipt, which they miraculously still had, and she sold it a week before your 16th birthday."

"She paid for half of my first car," Olivia whispered. "But she was an English professor. Why would she need to…?"

"I don't know, Liv. Maybe she was spending her salary on certain other things… Anyway, I tracked down the lady that bought it and a couple of others who owned it after her. I was willing to pay anything when I found it, but I told the girl my story and she just let me have it."

"Why would you go through all of that trouble?"

"You said you wanted your mother back. This is as close as I could get."

"But still. Calling _20 different_ pawn shops? Elliot…"

"I wanted to do it, Liv. I've been a total ass and I just wanted to make it up to you."

It happened then, just like he'd planned. She looked up at him with tears in her eyes. He took the locket and clasped it around her neck. She looked down at it, placing her hand over it, then looked back at him. He pulled her to him and kissed her, deeply and passionately. His hands plunged into her curls. She found herself straddling his hips, placing her hands on his chest. Elliot broke the kiss and trailed kisses down her neck.

"Elliot…"

He stopped and looked up at her. She smiled and he brushed her bangs out of her eyes.

"What are you doing tonight?" she asked.

"I don't know."

"Come over."

He kissed her forehead.

"Be with me."

"I'd love to, Liv."

She smiled and got off of his lap. He stood up and wrapped an arm around her.

"Thank you for my painting," he whispered into her ear.

His breath on her neck sent chills down her spine.

"Thank you for finding my mother's locket," she whispered back.

_Chestnuts roasting on an open fire. Jack Frost nipping at your nose. Yule tide carols being sung by the choir and folks dressed up like Eskimos. _

"I've always loved this song," Elliot mused, walking back into the party.

"It's nice, isn't it?"

"Liv?"

"Yeah?"

"Do you want to spend Christmas with my family?"

"I guess it beats watching 24 hours of 'A Christmas Story' and doing paperwork."

"Gee thanks."

"I'm kidding. I'd love to join you."

"Good because I wouldn't want it any other way."

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

They walked up to her apartment in silence. They both knew what was going to happen on the other side of that door and neither one wanted to ruin it. Elliot gently rubbed Olivia's neck as she fished around in her purse for her key.

"The damn thing's bottomless," she mumbled.

Her hand finally clamped around the cold metal and pulled it out. She opened the door to her apartment, instantly wishing she would have cleaned the place first. Elliot didn't seem to mind as he pushed past her.

"Sorry about the mess," Olivia apologized.

"Oh it's all right. We won't be spending much time out here anyway."

A devilish grin spread across his handsome features. Olivia grinned back and walked to stand in the doorway of her bedroom. She crooked her finger at him, signaling him to follow. She sat down on the edge of her bed and he sat down next to her. They stared into each others eyes for a long moment, before Elliot finally leaned in to kiss her.

He tasted good. He tasted like he was hers. She wanted more. She wanted _him._

Elliot began trailing down her jaw line with hot, open-mouthed kisses. He trailed down her neck, stopping on the Gitano scar.

"This is for the hell he put us through," Elliot said, biting into her neck.

A small moan escaped Olivia's lips. He continued working his way down her neck, then into her cleavage the v-necked dress left exposed. He pressed down on her, forcing her to lay down on the bed. Her curls fanned out around her head.

Elliot pulled the straps of her dress off of her shoulders and pushed it down around her waist. As he continued to nibble on her neck, Olivia unbuttoned his shirt and pushed it off his shoulders. She ran her hands over his muscular arms and chest.

He undid her bra and took her into his mouth. She moaned again, her nails pressing into his back. Olivia managed to get his pants and boxers off as Elliot pulled off the rest of her dress. She closed her eyes as he pulled off her underwear.

"Open your eyes, Liv."

He wanted to watch her face as he made love to her. He kissed his way up her thigh as she opened her eyes to look at him.

"You're beautiful," he whispered.

She was shaking. A tear rolled down her cheek as she trembled beneath him.

"Liv, if you don't want to do this…"

"Believe me, El, I do."

Elliot wiped the tear away with his thumb. She was still shaking.

"You sure?"

"I need you, Stabler. Now."

"Whatever you say, Benson."

He slowly pushed into her, drawing moans from both of them. She clenched around him, wanting more. He started thrusting inside of her. She moved to match his every movement. Her legs wrapped around his waist and her nails clawed into his back.

Everything would be different now. Different in a way they both wanted.

Elliot's mouth covered hers right before he came. Olivia bit into his lip as she followed. She rolled so that she was on top before collapsing on his hot body. His arms wrapped around her as she buried her face into his chest.

"Why did we wait so long to do that?" Olivia panted.

"I was married?"

"You haven't been for a while now."

Elliot laughed and stroked her hair.

"What do you think is gonna happen to us?" she asked.

"We'll probably end up getting married."

"You think so?"

"I know so."

"That a proposal, Stabler?"

"Maybe not just yet, Liv. But mark my word, you'll be my wife yet."

Olivia laughed and buried her face back in his chest. He stroked her arm, leaving goosebumps.

"I can't believe I just made love to not only my partner, but my best friend," Elliot said, softly.

"That's what makes us so great, El. We're close, especially after Match . com."

Elliot snorted. "About that."

"You know what? I'm glad it was you. I don't trust anyone else with my secrets."

He kissed her forehead. Then her nose. Then her lips. It still had all the passion in it.

"I really have fallen in love with you, Elliot."

"I love you too, Olivia."

Elliot looked over and glanced at the clock. 12:01.

"Well look at that."

"What?" she asked.

He pointed at the clock and she smiled.

"Merry Christmas, Liv."

"Same to you. And you know what?"

"What?"

"This just may be the best Christmas I've ever had."

"It's 12:02. There's only been three minutes of it."

"And those three minutes have been way better than all the years before this. Want to know why?"

"Why?"

"Because this year, I have you."

**AN: El Fin. :) Thanks again for reading. Send me your final thoughts.**

**So now that you know I know how to write, why not check out my other stories? Partner Swap is my next project. No promises it'll be as good as this, but it will be good! ;) **


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